So, the trailer for the new Avengers movie has been leaked (or officially released, I’m no expert on such things) and I imagine by this point hundreds, if not twelves, of websites will have looked through the trailer, over-analysing every single frame and offering their ‘expert’ opinions and speculation and such. Well, obviously I’m going to do the same, but with the added addition of my knowledge and brain and fingers that type the words I type. Read the rest of this entry »

Hey everyone. This light lit up the other day on my coffee machine and I had a right old panic.

Scary light of coffee doom

What does this light mean? I hear you ask. Well, I’ll tell you. It means I CAN’T HAVE ANY COFFEE BECAUSE MY COFFEE MACHINE NEEDS CLEANING OUT. I bloody well need my coffee. If I didn’t have my fancy coffee fix I’d be asleep while operating heavy machinery and orphans would die.

Fortunately for both the orphans and the health and safety executive, I have discovered the solution.

DURGOL SWISS ESPRESSO, the coffee machine decalcifier that gets rid of all the bad limescale and gunk and that and leaves you with a lovely fancy espresso with that signature ‘cream’ top that your missus doesn’t like because her idea of good coffee is Mellow Birds.

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Hi everyone, Meg joins me again for another review, although for obvious reasons, she is a little excitable.

Yes, it’s the Elsa dress from Disney’s Frozen, from a lovely blue dress, with a cape and a fancy brooch.

Elsa Dress

I guess without further ado, here’s the review… Well, I say review, it’s edited down from about half an hour of excitable almost-5-year-old, but I guess you can get the general drift of how much she adores the costume. 800/10 indeed. Read the rest of this entry »

Fudgey Vs The Playgym

Posted: October 12, 2014 in Fudgecrumpet
Tags: , ,

It’s October and that basically means a month of birthday parties, cake and such nonsense. Today was the first of Meg’s birthday parties (she gets a joint family party with her sister on Saturday, and a McDonalds (her choice) on her actual birthday) which was held at The Magical Forest in Marsh, Huddersfield.

It’s a lovely massive playgym in an old church hall, and it offers fairly decent prices for parties and such.

Which basically brings me to tonight’s feature presentation, my adventure in said playgym, following Meg to the top level, then attempting to get out with all my legs attached. I’ve added some music on the top in an attempt to drown out the screaming, and the YouTube image stabilisation makes it looks a bit weird, but I hope you’ll enjoy my struggle…

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Hello there all you crazy alcoholics and party revellers and Predator fans and people who clicked this blog because I have included the words MILEY CYRUS JUSTIN BIEBER BOOBS MONEY PORN HADDOCK to abuse Google searching. Tonight’s movie night continues my Aliens/Predator marathon with the much-better-than-anyone-expected Predators, which abandons the godawful shonky shenanigans of the AvP movies and goes down the route of “Why don’t we make the film actually good for a change?”

Now obviously, after the last couple of movies, this leaves me with a dilemma, how do I write an entertaining movie night blog if the movie isn’t fucknawful? Well, the same way anyone makes a good night into a messy blur of awesomesauce and vomiting, with the addition of lots and lots of alcohol.

Predators Read the rest of this entry »

Good morning all. It’s 6:30 and you join me for my final* #earlybirdchallenge in association with, in which every effort is made to encourage everyone to use the early hours before work/school/jeremy kyle constructively, be it for something fun, something useful and boring, or something utterly pointless.

*my final documented challenge, I may well continue to get up early and do something, I just won’t be telling you about it.



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Looom Bands! Looom Bands! Loooooooooooooooooooooooom Bands! Loooooooooom Bands!

Loom Bands


LOOM BANDS! Read the rest of this entry »