In which your favourite curmudgeon learns what dabbing is and also how bloody difficult it is to make a video of a text conversation.

Apologies about the crappy music.

Help me to make more things or equal or better quality (couldn’t be any worse!) by chipping into my Patreon, which currently earns me the lofty sum of 84p a month.

Let’s fix some crappy movie tropes with the use of modern technology! Yay!

Yes, I had a very good, well written introduction to this post but I accidentally deleted it in my pocket. Then I wrote another well written introduction and accidentally deleted it in my pocket as well. The moral of this story is that I shouldn’t be allowed pockets.

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Lazy Nonsense.

Posted: April 24, 2017 in Fudgecrumpet

In lieu of putting actual effort into writing today, I have farmed my blog out to people with nothing better to do from the Twitter.

So there. The following in no way represents the views of me, my employer or my underwear…

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Kola with a K (and other Krimez)

Posted: April 20, 2017 in Fudgecrumpet
Tags: , ,

I don’t drink fizzy pop, so my experience of products flavoured similar to that red fizzy Santa Claus drink or that I-Think-She-Is-One-Of-The-Kardashians Police Juice is limited to poorly flavoured sweets, which are almost always spelled with a K rather than a C.

Naturally this gives me an instant dislike of anything deliberately misspelled with a kicking k instead of a curly c.

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Getting Becked.

Posted: April 19, 2017 in Fudgecrumpet

This happened.

Which was nice.

With most people now agreeing that Jaffa Cakes are cakes, toilet rolls go ripped edge to the front and Two Towers is the best Hobbit movie, we need something new and trendy to argue about. It seems the Rage De Jour is now 

“Should Scones Have Jam Then Cream or Cream Then Jam?”

We’ve already decided how to pronounce scone, now we get to finalise the matter of scones before there’s some sort of Tea Room Civil War or something.

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 I, Fudgey.

Posted: April 7, 2017 in Fudgecrumpet
Tags: , , , ,

Some sort of profile containing facts and such…

  • Name – Al
  • AKA – Fudgecrumpet
  • AKA – Fudgey
  • AKA – Sir

No, YOU’VE been over generous with the pixels

  • Age – 37 (and a Quarter)
  • Eyes – Blue/Adorable
  • Hair – Brown/Occasionally floppy
  • Gender – Male
  • Preferred Pronoun – Sexy
  • Height – Shorter than you expected
  • Weight – Too much 
  • Shoe Size – UK10
  • Underpants Size – M-L
  • Distinguishing Features – Beard, 2 birth marks (lower back, neck)

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