Hey you lot, you alright? Glad to hear it.
Well, I’m busy reading books like mad again because someone with a beard thought it would be a good idea to start reviewing books on my blog again, after a few months off. I have been more picky in my selection though, no confusing gimpy handed historical novels or whatever.

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So, the first book I’m reading is the new edition of Truckers – The first book of the Nomes by Terry Pratchett. From what I gather, the best/most popular of Terry’s work are getting rereleased in bright new colours in an attempt to drag the kids away from their xboggles and playstrapons to read a bit of good ol’ literature.

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Hello again. So, if you’ve been in a box or not paying attention or if you’ve had an operation or something, I’m talking about my feelings and opinions about things suggested by the people of twitter. Not sure why I’m doing this to be honest, you don’t want to know what I think about things. If you did, you’d have bought my book or followed this blog or liked me on facebook. Oh, you just did? In that case, let me feelings you til it hurts…

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Hello. How are you? Oh. Well, I hope it gets better.

Now, it seems that just writing interesting and funky reviews about shit folk send me (more coming soon!) isn’t enough to get folk thinking I’m Internet-Space-Jesus, and apparently one is expected to use one’s blog to discuss my feelings and opinions and illnesses and such. So, without further ado, here are some feelings and opinions on things suggested by those lovely spouters of boob and food suggestions, the twitter people. Also, I have a cold and a sore leg.

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Here is an out of context picture I made.

Update – twitter has been surprisingly good at suggestions today, like in the olden days so this is now a 2-parter. Ooh.

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Image  —  Posted: July 17, 2015 in movie, Review
Tags: , , , , ,

So, yeah, it seems I lack the patience and time to do a daily video, edit and post. Did you really want to watch a video of me gurning every night anyway? Don’t answer that. Unless you have a nice answer.

Anyway, here concludeth (?) my review of the LQ Hair, Skin & Nails Supplement, with a fancily edited montage (using the kinemaster app, if you want to see how I actually still use things I review) and a bit of a summary at the end, filmed on my new EE 4GEE Action Camera, which I got today and hopefully will be doing more stuff with shortly.

The health supplement? Well, I can honestly say my skin and hair and nails have never felt better, but I didn’t think there was anything wrong with them to begin with, so I guess I’m not one to judge. I’m sure there was probably some benefit to taking the supplement, but being a curmudgeonly man who sits in his mancave all day, I really don’t know.

I’d still recommend this stuff though, nothing fell off me while I was taking them, and I learned all kinds of new words. So, that’s good.

To prove I’m not a completely useless marketing tool, I’ve gone and found the page on the Holland and Barratt website so you can have a look at the whole range of LQ stuff, and buy your own so you can pull all manner of sexy faces, just like me.

While you’re clicking links and that, why not click to follow my blog on here (I think the button is up there on the left), follow my universally ignored Youtube channel and like me on the facebook. You probably already follow me on twitter, but if you don’t, don’t bother, I’m too edgy and cool for the likes of you.

Hi there. Let me just… oh, you just finish that first… done?

Right then, how about you-

oh. OK. Hey! Hey! Stop what you’re doing!

FFS, sit there, shut up, put your phone down. Good.

I know you’re busy, doing eight things at once, tweeting, facebooking, organising your Pokemon collection catalogue, pointing out that I’m only listing four things when I said eight. Well, I’m gonna save you some time, stop you being busy, and making that little purple vein on your head stop thumping like that time on Ren and Stimpy that I didn’t really watch because I didn’t really like Ren and Stimpy.

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I’ve got here a new app called Bullet News. It lives on your phone, just like Candy Crush or that app you use to make fart noises when your missus sits down, and it gives you up to date news in a compressed super-futuristic fancy fashion (in a short list with dots on it) from all sorts of different places. Read the rest of this entry »

So, day three of drinking this magical substance, and I found all the useful information that I was supposed to tell you in the last episode. So, sit yourself down, and prepare yourself for 5 minutes of me reading difficult words.

Join me again tomorrow for more of the same, and I’m perfectly willing to take suggestions on how to make the next 6 episodes interesting.

Episode One – HERE
Episode Two – HERE