So with Jeremy Clarkson getting fracassed off our telly, and me being bored this morning, this happened…

Potential replacements for the Top Gear presenting job include…

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Noseybonk

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Are you sitting comfortably? Well, don’t. Sitting comfortably is bad for your posture.

Now, listen, as I read you a lovely bedtime story, based on the movie Disney’s Frozen, which if you are a parent, you will despise with the very core of your soul.

Oh, and it’s 11 minutes long, so sit comfortably. Yes, I’m contrary.

Apologies for the vertical video and that.

If you liked that, let me know, and I’ll do more. Also, subscribe to my YouTube channel, because I dunno why.

Sometimes I like to browse the bloggersrequired.com, looking for things to write about, things to review and such. Well, one day I see a nice assignment for reviewing some new trainers. In my naiive mind I think to myself, oh that’d be a fun thing to write about, I’d like to give a pair of trainers a go, my current trainers are a bit past it, they let in water, I can’t run in them without blisters popping up and popping out everywhere. This would be a good blog opportunity for me.

I forget that sometimes I shouldn’t tell Gem that I have to review fancy new trainers, because she wants to try some new trainers because I always get stuff for me to review. It doesn’t matter that it’s my bloody blog and the last thing I got to review thinking of her, she refused to try out because she said it turned the whole experience into a science experiment.20150228_130952

Anyway, as I am under the thumb, or rather, boot of the missus, I now present to you my review of her new Running Shoes from Asics.

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Hello everyone, how are you? That’s nice. I could be better, thanks for asking. I ache all over, i have the posture of a He-Man figure and… wait, come back, this will be interesting, I pinky swear.

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Let’s start at the beginning, Snozone, the people who do the real snow ski slopes at XScape in Castleford and Milton Keynes held a fancy Sochi inspired event, to inspire future Olympians. In attendance were Ben Kilner, double Winter Olympian; and Katie Summerhayes, winner of the silver medal at the World Freestyle Ski and Snowboard Championships in Kreischberg (turn left at the post office, follow the signs).

I was invited along to report on the event, like a proper respectable lifestyle blogger (no, stop laughing) with the opportunity to interview Ben and the incentive/punishment of a three hour snowboarding lesson, in an effort to make the slopes appeal to newcomers, and to make programs like The Jump, with it’s irritating lummox celebrity goons falling over, a distant memory.
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Here you go…

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Review – My Buddy-Box

Posted: February 3, 2015 in Review
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SCENARIO – You’re shopping, you don’t want to carry a load of bags for life, and you certainly aren’t going to pay 3p for a flimsy pseudo-bag that won’t hold the weight of any of the shopping you’re going to buy, even the bubblewrap you’ve decided to buy purely for popping during Celebrity Big Brother to stop yourself throwing things at the telly.

SOLUTION…?

This.

“A satchel?” I hear you say in a slightly squeaky voice, like somebody has just stamped on your crotch like one of those high class ladies of the night that you can hire in London for £3000 a night. “How can you use a satchel for your shopping?”

But wait, this is My Buddy-Box. A fancy fold-out box for all your box-based needs.
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Review – Weekend Box

Posted: January 31, 2015 in Review, Review
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So, it’s the weekend again, the kids are full of energy from their Coco Pops Porridge, and the missus has buggered off to work with strict instructions that nobody is allowed to play on their phones or the playstation because there was a thing on the radio saying that kids spend too much time looking at screens and it’s going to turn them into robots or something.

So, you’re left with two kids, bouncing on your neck, nagging that they’re hungry or they’re bored or whatever else they say after they stamp on your jugular vein and you lose consciousness. What do you do? What sort of thing could they possibly need to keep them entertained…?
Weekend Box Club

You get them a WEEKEND BOX from weekendboxclub.com!!!!!!!!!!!! Read the rest of this entry »