Hiya, it’s me again.

The Chinese people continue to send me random things to review on Amazon, as seeing as I’m just sat here watching a really boring sleeping baby doing sleeping and nothing interesting, I thought I’d share some more of the nonsense that keeps showing up at a pretty regular rate…


Ready? There’s quite a bit, so bear with me. Or don’t. I’m not massively bothered, you’re getting this for free. Well, unless you buy me a coffee, that would be a nice incentive to be actually entertaining. Look! Look at the monkey dancing from the caffeine rush that he is not able to metabolise correctly! See him fall down the stairs and split open his neck! Laugh! Laugh at the monkey! LAUGH!

Ahem. Sorry.
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I promised you a couple of reviews by my new blogging partner (and daughter), Darcey and when have I ever let you down? Apart from that time. And that time. Just shut up. Look, it’s a baby in a Deadpool onesie. LOOK!

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Cute, yeah? Of course she is, I made her using my skills and genes and skills (twice as many skills as genes). And penis.

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Those lovely people over at Nutri-Plan have said I can run a giveaway for some of their fancy Tea-Tox detox teabags. Yay!
Now, normally I’d have a bit of fun and make you do some colouring in or whatever but 1. My last competition got 4 entries and the winner was in a foreign country and didn’t want the prize and 2. I’m really bloody tired.

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Win 2 weeks worth of this stuff!

So, I’m experimenting with that there Rafflecopter thing, with all it’s boxes to fill in and that. Please let me know if you like this sort of thing, because I honestly think it makes me into a bit of a whore.

The prize? A fortnight’s worth of Tea-Tox teabags!
The people who want to give you this prize? Those lovely people at Nutriplan!

CLICK HERE TO ENTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’d do the fancy embedding thing but WordPress is either being deliberately faffy with HTML or I’m rubbish. I’m rubbish.

Good luck!

Hello. I had sex nine months and a week ago.

Then this happened.

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This is Darcey Alanna and she is a baby. She showed up at 20:21 on Friday night, but fortunately there was nothing on telly. Read the rest of this entry »

Slasher movies. You know the type. Cute blonde girl runs away from a masked gimmicky murderer. You’re bored of the formula, and have been ever since the 80s, or at best since the mid-90s when there was that ironic revival phase. All those clich√©s, stupid decisions and macguffins serving to provide lazy set-pieces and half-arsed jump scares. Wouldn’t it be nice if a horror movie went out of its way not to do that, to break the mould and bring life back into what is essentially a genre that has fallen over and twisted its ankle, while running away from some sort of knife wielding metaphor in a metaphorical metaphor mask.

Well, look who it is, Jim Rothman, creator of Scythe, a new ‘realistic’ slasher movie that promises to break genre conventions and return to good old fashioned scares. I sent a bunch of questions his way, and he was kind enough to reply with proper words and not just a GIF of someone doing a rude finger gesture. The Kickstarter for Scythe is well on its way to getting the $50,000 required to fund this independent movie, and a whole host of perks are available to supporters of the project.

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Another quickie review now, and get sat comfortably because I can guarantee you this will be the most exciting review you have ever read… OK, that’s a life. It’s a review for a wire. Yeahhhhhh baby.
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Right then, time for a couple of quickie reviews, just to pass the time while the kids are in dance class and I have nothing interesting to talk about. (In real life, I’m still waiting for my daughter to be born, currently 5 days late emerging from Gem’s party zone, feels like it’s been 3 weeks since Saturday)

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In other news, I also had a haircut.

First off, TechElec’s SP-X ¬†Sweatproof Bluetooth Headphones. Read the rest of this entry »