I am poorly and dying and possibly DOOMED.


Whaddya mean it’s just a cold? All the good diseases start off with flu-like symptoms. Ebola is one example.There are other examples that you should look up yourself if you are so bloody bothered. I’m too poorly.

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So, after what can only be described as a hiatus (or ‘a period of doing other things and having a headache’) I’m back writing my blog using words and my fingers.

Apologies to all you coulrophobics out there, but this was the best pic I could find on my phone today.

You can just say you’ve missed me and not mean it. I won’t mind. I can live a lie. In fact, that’s probably easier all round.

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Hello fellow mans!

You look like you need some helps finding a suitable place to put your frisky willy. I am here to help you with what I like to affectionately call ‘Fudgey’s Expert Dating Advice Blog’ or ‘FEDAG’ for short.

I will now pass on all the knowledge from inside my brain on how to find a lady to do a sex on. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s not a nice day today, but if it were, I would heartily encourage you to get your socks and shoes on and heading outside for a bit of a run about with the kids.

To publicise the latest Percy Jackson book, the lovely PR people are encouraging everyone to get outside and play Capture The Flag, a game made popular in the first book in the series Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief, following the adventures of the teenage demi-god as he mucks about getting involved in all sorts of magical shenanigans.

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The Other Alice is a new book by Michelle Harrison, asking the question “What would happen if the characters from the stories you’ve written managed to escape into the real world?”

It is aimed for readers ages 9+, so naturally I gave the book to Gem (grown up, asked me not to write her age) to read. (She also didn’t want me to take a picture of her with the book because she hasn’t done her hair).


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Hi there, just thought I’d make you aware of the Patreon I’ve set up, in an attempt to encourage me to start doing more (and more interesting) stuff on here. I was thinking something along the lines of a regular podcast or video thing, the sort of things that internet-famous people do. Y’know, because I need encouragement to do silly things…

Really it’s just an excuse to raise funds to bribe Gem so she leaves me be to record stuff, rather than making me do the washing up or whatever. I’ll still have to do the washing up, so maybe that’s a poor example.

Anyway, go and have a look and share it about a bit, there are a bunch of different goals, some poorly thought out rewards and the like. Hopefully it’ll work out well for me, you and the entire world.

Because I am so helpful and awesome here is a link to my favourite YouTube channel (not including that one with the lass that whispers while shaving your face), ShovelWarehouse, in a Virtual Reality special.

Yes, you get to hear me get a mention on a proper grown up YouTube channel, that’s not the point. The point is I’M HELPING.


Go and subscribe to see Zed play all sorts of naff wowshittery, and watch as a grown man grows increasingly angry at Barbie.