I asked them there twitter folk for blog topic suggestions (one word, no food, no boobies) and my timeline was somewhat flooded with randomness (the good kind of random, not insurance or pelicans) so i’ve abandoned the usual ‘include them all’ kind of blog, and i’m gonna cover each topic individually.
It’ll probably take a few days to get through them all, so bear with me.
Anyway, first topic suggestion is from @ChrisGN and is DINOSAUR.
And that would be the point where i lose the girly half of my readers, as it is a well known fact that girls don’t understand dinosaurs. I don’t know if it’s because of the teeth, or if they’re not cuddly. Or maybe it’s because there’s just no David Beckham of dino-digging for them to perve at. (1. I can’t spell paelientology and 2. Ross from Friends doesn’t count)
The best dinosaur is the Tyrannosaurus Rex, because it was big and mean and had ridiculous arms that stopped it playing volleyball. Other people might have a different favourite, but they are wrong and would be the first to get eaten.
There are two types of dinosaur, carnivores and herbivores. There are no dinosaur omnivores, and thus the dinosaur restaurant is forced to have to separate menus and three separate eating areas (the third area being reserved for kids’ parties, corporate events and staff training exercises).
Other cool dinosaurs include the diplodocus, which caused so much confusion as to how to produce it’s name that the scientists ruined the fun by changing it’s name to something rubbish. Triceratops were also cool, especially if you’re looking for somewhere to hang your soggy knickers.
Stegosaurus were also cool, as they have solar panels on their backs, which helped lower their carbon footprint. Which is handy because they have fucking huge feet.
My favourite dinosaur as a kid was the ankylosaurus, which was a little stumpy armoured thing with a hammer attached to it’s arse. Jurassic Park 3 ruined that for me though, thanks to it’s shoddy cgi making it look like a stupid dumb gonk.
Anyway, dinosaur. That’s it. Gotta do work now. See u soon.