Saw this poster this morning and it got me furious.
It’s for ‘The Musical Movie Event Of The Summer’, Walking On Sunshine and it is already the thing I hate most in all the world.
Let’s just take a look at the poster and vent a little bit of why this makes me want to throw lemon juice in everyone involved with it’s eyes.
1. It’s the poster for Mamma Mia. But worse. Worse than Mamma Mia. That’s the worst thing I could say about a movie.
2. ‘The Greatest Hits of the 80s’. Clearly ‘Hits’ is an anagram, as it is followed by ‘of the 80s’.
3. Leona Lewis. Vacant, bland pop honker that you vaguely remember from Saturday night tv.
4. Fuck this bastard. Fuck him roughly over a bin.
5. Inexplicably vague release date.
6. Random photos of people I don’t know photoshopped into a line. They might as well be fucking clip art. Look at them all, with their smug faces and their unrelated poses. One of them is skimming stones, that woman who has just thrown those flowers either has fantastic wrist action or she’s twatted tie adjusty guy in the face.
7. ‘The’ Musical Movie Event. Because nobody else is stupid enough to release another Musical Movie Event.
And you know what the worst thing about this bloody movie, the missus and kids will want to see it. Not just at the cinema, they’ll want the DVD. Not a blu-ray, no, they cant watch blu-rays in all the rooms of the house, so I won’t be able to escape.
Fuck this movie. This movie should be banned, burned and buggered by a biker called Boris.