Yeah, I can’t be arsed typing out the full name, it’s Harry Potter 1.
The one without any acting in it. Because the kids are making me watch it. I wanted to watch Iron Man.
So without further ado… Let’s indulge in untalented youngsters reading words written on boards without any emotion.
Harry Potter turns out to be a wizard, and goes to wizard school where he learns EXACTLY AND EXCLUSIVELY the skills he needs to survive to the end of the film, then he melts a man’s face off.
WHY IT IS GOOD!
It’s a passable adaptation of a fairly pisspoor book! The grown ups in the film steal the film with their actual acting talents and that! A man’s face gets melted off! It’s not *that* bad! The ickle children are hilariously cute versions of the horrible or sexy people we now know!
WHY IT IS BAD!
The mysteries and plot of the film are spelled out in crayon! The child acting is as painful as dental surgery performed by a plumber with a welding torch! It’s a fairly literal book to screen adaptation! I don’t like owls!
RATING ON THE FUDGECRUMPET SCALE OF AWESOMENESS!
(I was going to do 9 3/4 out of 12, but I’m not going to base my score on a hilarious whim. I have integrity. Except when I’m reviewing household products that people send me. Then sometimes I lie and say they’re awesome. Although I do like my frying pan.)