Much to the annoyance of some of my twitter minions, I’m not going to do all the Alien films in a row, I’m gonna stick to my guns and keep this an Aliens & Predator marathon type thang. So, next on the fuzzy-chronological list, well….
Who has two thumbs and is about to watch Predator?
Oh yeah, it’s like I made my shitty temporary phone do something cool on purpose. Still, it’s less shitty than the even shittier temporary temporary phone i had. I miss my good funky phone, despite it’s dead-in-an-hour battery life. Anyway, I digress and as soon as I’ve eaten something I digest…
“Get yourself into the helicopter!”
Arnie and a bunch of equally badass 80s politicians and movie directors are badass soldiers who go and kill some baddies for some reason, and then shout a bit and then get hunted to death by an invisible alien hunter who sees everything in funky colours and has a mouth like a terrifying vagina. So all of Arnie’s team get offed in various ways then Arnie covers himself in mud then gets the Predator who blows up and that’s it. But in a good way.
WHY IS IT GOOD!
Arnie before he was a big cheesy idiot! Inappropriate pussy jokes that I didn’t understand when I was 9 and watched this for the first time! Invisibibble monster dude! Skinned people! Glo-stick blood! Futuristic space frisbees! Mud! Traps! Everything!
WHY IS IT BAD!
Nope, sorry. Nothing.
RATING ON THE FUDGECRUMPET SCALE OF AWESOMENESS!