So, as you may know, I have a beard all over my face, like some kind of hairy love god, but without the love god bit. It’s getting to summer now, and not only do I not want to be uncomfortably warm, I also don’t want people to think I’m my dad’s brother when we go places together. So, in aid of reducing my facial age considerably, and finding out how many new chins I have grown since last I trimmed, I have gone and got a Shavekit and chopped the bugger off.
Shavekit offer a subscription based razor service, where you pay just £6.95 a month (or £8.95 for the fancy 5-blade version) and you’ll receive a razor handle, plus 4 blade cartridges every month so you will never have to go outside looking like you’ve been trapped on a desert island with only a volleyball for company again. Not even to go and buy razors. None of that “Ooh what’s he doing wandering around Boots looking like a hairy pervert” again. Was that just me? That was just me. Shouldn’t have worn those skinny jeans.
Now, I know what you’re thinking… Why do I need a shaving subscription when I am perfectly happy paying silly amounts of money for overpriced Gilettington Sword Mach Fusion Powerglide Splish Splash Winky Wanky X3 blades that are fine for the first shave but go as blunt as a spoon after that? And to that I would say, you have just answered your own improbably specific question and I don’t know how to structure question and answer based review queries.
Anyway, the shavekit…
…a razor handle for your hand to use to hold the razors against your face so you can shave your face!
…four 5-blade cartridges so you can shave more than one time because apparently hair grows back!
…a couple of stickers!!!!!!!!
…and that’s it. Seriously, were you expecting a jar of jam or something?
and there’s your razor, looking all shiny in front of the overpriced shower curtains that Gem made me get from Next. I don’t really see what’s so good about it really, the shower curtain I mean. It’s just a flimsy bit of plastic that sticks to your bum when you’re in the shower and makes you feel cold. Oh, and the razor is nice, feels comfortably heavy and that. Not sure what my hand is doing there either, who holds a razor like that? I’ll never be a hand model with that kind of nonsense.
Shut up. Review the razor.
So the proof of the pudding is in the tasting and in this case the pudding is hidden under a mound of hair and the tasting is the shaving off of the hair to reveal the pudding underneath… er…
So, my face, with a beard.
What better way to test out Shavekit’s 5-blade system than with shaving that nonsense off in one go, without trimming it off beforehand or whatever? There are many better ways. However, that’s what I decided to do.
So, getting lathered up with the sensitive shave gel i found in the cupboard… and away we go…
Now obviously, shaving off a full beard is gonna kill your blades, and this time was no exception. However, I managed to go from full-on cave lummox to bald-chinned childman in about one and a half cartridges, so that’s something. It took about an hour to do, and I was incredibly tempted to keep a Hitler tash, but only because that’s the hardest bit to shave. I suppose if you’re an evil tyrant, you don’t have time to fuss about shaving that bit under your nose. In fact, I reckon folk only made Hitler out to be the bad guy to discourage lazy shavers from leaving the Hitler tash there. That was the only reason for World War II. Definitely. I got a D in GCSE History. Our teacher had a nervous breakdown, I don’t think it was our fault. She only ever used to complain about my handwriting.
So, yeah, reviewing. The blades worked well and as you can see from the pic, I’m not a bleeding mess of cuts and holes, like I would have been had I used those horrible disposable things that Gem occasionally uses to make slices in her legs with. The shave was very close and obviously a second shave after a couple of days left me as smooth as a baby’s bum, although why you would shave a baby’s bum is beyond me.
Anyway, here’s a photo of me looking manly and shaven.
Yeah, I’ll let you save that one to use in your own private time, ladies. That was right before I went and won at Laserquest so you know I’m just rocking the manliness.
Oh, and Gem borrowed the razor after I used it and she says it was nice for her legs. So that’s not only a handy female perspective for the review, it’s also a handy tip that if you should get a fancy razor you should hide it somewhere where she will never look, maybe in her sexy knicker drawer, because she never wears any of them any more. It’s just not fair.
So, yeah, it’s a positive review, did I already say that? You should definitely go and get yourself signed up with shavekit.com right now. I used the 5 blade set, which was wonderful. I assume the 3 blade kit is just as good, just with 2 less blades which is important somehow. You save a couple of quid getting that anyway.
If you want to get 70% off your first month of blades, use the code FUDGECRUMPET at the checkout and then you can be all grateful to me, and buy me a present with all that money you saved. If you want to. I’m not forcing you. No. Not at all. I like toys and comics and sweets. Just saying.
Anyway, it’s all awesome stuff and you look like a tramp, so go and get it sorted.
Oh, and ladies, you go and get subscribed too, it’s like a bloody jungle down there. And it smells. No, that was too far. It doesn’t smell. Not that I’ve checked. Can I check?