Thoughts and Opinions (Part Two)

Posted: July 23, 2015 in Fudgecrumpet, funky nonsense, funny
Tags: , , , , ,

Hello again. So, if you’ve been in a box or not paying attention or if you’ve had an operation or something, I’m talking about my feelings and opinions about things suggested by the people of twitter. Not sure why I’m doing this to be honest, you don’t want to know what I think about things. If you did, you’d have bought my book or followed this blog or liked me on facebook. Oh, you just did? In that case, let me feelings you til it hurts…

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The Weather
It’s quite pleasant today, not too sunny and warm, dry and boring. I like boring weather. Too much either way and it makes me miserable. If I had the choice I’d rather it snowed because at least that’s an excuse for falling over.

The Northern Powerhouse
This is apparently some fancy way of making Yorkshire feel important, even with London flouncing around like it owns the place in it’s pants while drinking a fancy coffee served in an ironic plastic beaker.
It’s basically an excuse for BBC reporters to stand outside old buildings in Leeds and talk in a condescending manner, maybe even dropping in the occasional word said in a terrible northern accent.
By eck.

Does the whole of Yorkshire need an elected mayor?
Yes, and it should be me because reasons.

Chocolate… Malteasers in particular
I like most chocolate, unless it has raisins in it.
Malteasers are lovely, especially when they reach that perfect temperature when you can remove the chocolate carefully with your teeth without biting the honeycomb.

People who make dogs wear clothes
I can’t judge, I want to make my dog a Triceracop costume.
(I think this might be my first blog mention of my puppy. He is called Sheldon, is a Jack Russell/Border Terrier mix and he is a fucking idiot)

Ladbible
This is an interesting website that I sometimes see linked on Facebook. I have no feelings either way, although I imagine someone will be offended by it somehow.

Things that don’t go with Birdseye Potato Waffles
Spaghetti Hoops, as the hoops do not fit into the gaps in the waffle in the same way baked beans do.
Windmills, because nobody likes windmills really.
Racism, because everyone should be allowed to eat Birdseye Potato Waffles. Except coeliacs. The dirty bastards.

Crab Meat
Once at Scarborough, Gem asked me to buy her some crab meat and told me off because I bought her a whole crab. She actually just wanted crab sticks, which aren’t even actual crab.
So that is what I think of that.

Aaaaand that’s your lot. If you’d like my opinion on any more topics, there is the always-neglected comments section below, or pester me on twitter like I’m some sort of performing feelings monkey.

Oh and follow me on Periscope, that’s new. I’m fudgecrumpet on there. Surprisingly.

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