Hey there, how are you? Do anything you regretted last night? Of course you did.
Had too many boozes and ate a kebab made of animals that may or may not be Yaks? Yeah, I wouldn’t put it past you.
Cop off with that girl with the big wart that covers half of her left eye, accidentally calling her Mum as you grope her hairy buttocks? Yeah, twice in one week, and still you don’t call her.

Still it could be worse…

Perhaps you went down a backstreet alley and got a tattoo of your best friend’s private parts on your tummy? Ok, maybe you didn’t go that far, but what if you did? Tattoos are all permanent and if they’re awful, well, you either have to get them covered up with the inky version of drawing rocket thrusters onto a cock and balls to make it look like a spaceship or…

Well, plan B is to go and get the thing lasered off, but how do you go about doing that? Should laser be spelled with a Z, because I’m sure that looks cooler? Should you send off an email to appear on that Channel 5 program about Tattoo disasters and hope they pay expenses? Will you need 20 or so laser sessions to make the dirty penis drawing go away?

Well, my very good friends at Pulse Light Clinic have a solution for you. with their brand new PicoSure Tattoo Removal Laser, which uses magic* to remove tattoos quicker, without damaging the surrounding skin, and even going so far as to remove different coloured tattoos that some other laser treatments can’t get rid of.

* Magic – “Usually in laser tattoo removal, the laser relies on a type of photodynamic energy (usually heat) to target both the pigment in the tattoo and the surrounding skin. While it’s effective in removing tattoos, treatments have to be widely spaced – anywhere from six weeks to two months apart – and it can take anywhere from 10 to 20 treatments before the tattoo is completely gone. Picosure laser tattoo removal technology does not use any heat at all, instead delivering energy using an ultra-short laser pulse, creating a more mechanical effect that breaks the ink into microscopic fragments while leaving the surrounding skin completely untouched.” – From HERE

Want to see a video of this laser thing in action? Of course you do.

So, this fancy pulse laser thing can get your tattoo removed quicker and without your skin falling off, leaving you looking like the bloke from the end of Event Horizon who used to have dreams about talking dinosaurs, and with fewer treatments, which is good because then you get lots of extra spare time to not make any more bad life choices, maybe catch up on Orange is the New Black or watch the new Supergirl TV show, because it’s really good.

“How do i get in touch with these fancy laser people then?” I hear you ask, your face still sore from the newly drawn picture of Gary Wilmot etched into your forehead.
Well, head to www.pulselightclinic.co.uk and tell them I sent you. They’re based in that London, so why not organise a trip to M&M World while you’re there? I hear it’s really expensive and not as good as Cadbury World, but you get loads of free chocolate. Just as long as you don’t eat too much, then in a sugar-fuelled rampage get a tattoo of a peanut M&M on your belly button.

  1. The Anxious Dragon says:

    I love all my tatts and wouldnt want them removed, but its great that its now a viable option for people who have bad ones.


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