Hey you. Fancy meeting you here. You look terrible, would you like a glass of wine?
Oh noes! The wine bottle has a cork and I hurt my hand having a fight with an octopus, however will I get it open?
This here is the Ozeri Electric Wine Opener, which is some kind of magic corkscrew from the future. Wooo.
So, what is this thing and what is in the box?
You’ve got your fancy electric corkscrew, you’ve got a charger base, a plug, some instructions. You’ve also got a bottle stopper/pourer and a foil cutter for that really fancy wine you got given when you saved that old lady’s cat from a cow that time.
The opener has two buttons, which make the little corkscrew inside it rotate in one of the two directions that exist, and that’s pretty much the whole gizmo. You shove it on top of your wine bottle, press the button and plippy-plop (may not be an accurate sound effect) you’ve opened up your wine and can drink it all while watching Jeremy Kyle while crying into your shoes.
The opener has that rubberised texture, which feels nice, but prompted a few of my twitter followers to suggest the device was actually a penis enlarger.
It really really isn’t. Unless you like that sort of thing. I know there is one person on the internet who does, but let’s not give them any more attention. At least not until the swelling goes down. Ow.
The opener has a pretty decent motor and you don’t get that nasty whirr clunk of a poor quality motor struggling to do it’s job, like with so many other motorised gadgets.
The battery lasts for about 40 bottles worth of wine between charges, and unless you have Andre the Giant level drinking skills, or you’re having a massive party, that should last you a fair amount of time. That said, the opener looks pretty nifty on the base, so you’ll probably be wanting to have this on charge, looking fancy next to your wine bottles and that.
The other accessories are pretty cool too, the stopper/pourer aerates your wine (which is possibly a good thing, i dunno, I’m not an expert) and if you wanted to not finish the bottle in one go (Ha ha I know, right) you can shove the little stopper in to save the wine in the fridge or whatever.
There’s also a foil cutter, which is fairly sharp, watch your fingers. Yes, you.
So, in all seriousness, this is useful if you have arthritis and can’t normally work a corkscrew, or maybe if you’ve had a really hard day at work and can’t be bothered. I dunno, do you even need an excuse to open wine?
You can pick this thing up from Amazon HERE, and I assume you can buy wine from Tesco or whatever.
It doesn’t work with screw top wine or boxes of wine though. Well, it might work, i suppose you could always just stab a hole or something. I wouldn’t recommend it though, you’ll just end up hurting yourself. Again.