Oh look, there you are. Showing your face at last.
I know what you’ve been up to, all these slightly more adult blog posts I’ve been doing, what with the snug underpants and the erotic stories, you’ve gone and completely messed up your bed again. I shouldn’t be surprised, it was all very hardcore and rude, still… those sheets are stained to buggery now.
Don’t worry, though. It’s fine. FINE. I’ve teamed up Justice League style with the funky peoples at eLinens.co.uk who can help you out with your problem. No, not that problem, you should see a doctor about that. The problem of needing some new sheets, duvet cover, and… your pillow cases too!? Good god what have you been up to?
Now, I understand that this may not be a good prize if you plan on getting run over tomorrow, but if you need an incentive to live healthy, and not take unnecessary risks, then the chance to get £100 worth of free fancy duvet covers, pillow cases, sheets and whatever other things go on beds (I don’t know, I’m rarely allowed to share the bed with the light sleeping grumpy starfish that is my missus), every year, for ever (if you live that long!).
Who are elinens? Here’s their website blurb…
eLinens is part of Drew Brady & Co. Limited which is an established leader in the UK textile industry since 1947.
Since November 1999 elinens have specialised in offering an extensive selection of linen items to our customers online throughout the UK and Europe.
I wasn’t even properly online in 1999, using my Amstrad emailer phone to enter wordsearch competitions, that’s how long these guys have been going. So, clearly they know what they’re doing.
You’ve got your bedding, your egyptian cotton (i assume that’s good, it has a separate website bit), you’ve got bathroom stuff, towels and that and you’ve also got LOADS AND LOADS OF DOG CUSHIONS! YEAHHH!
Sorry, I got excited by dog cushions then and lazily used a phone screenshot as the picture, and didn’t delete the message tab or anything. How slapdash of me. Perhaps I’m tired. I never used to get excited about dog cushions, I think owning a dog has turned me into one of those people who likes dog cushions. That’s not necessarily a good thing, I imagine.
“Shut up Fudgey, you’ve sold me on elinens, sort me out with some mates rates.”
Here you go, enter the code elinens11 at checkout to get 10% off your order, and then you can use that 10% you’ve saved to buy me a present. I like hats and bad movies. Good, glad we sorted that out.