Random… er… German… Crap (NSFW, Maybe)

Posted: June 1, 2016 in egotistical selfwankery, Fudgecrumpet, insensitive male bastard, sexy

So, you’ve seen my previous posts showcasing some of the tat and nonsense Chinese Amazon sellers send me in exchange for reviews. (HERE and HERE)

Well, it seems Germany has got into the game, and they don’t have random pieces of technology or fancy housewares to send. No, they have DIFFERENT THINGS. DIFFERENT.

image

Different!

Anyway, in an effort to make my Tuesday evening fun, I did a bit of an unboxing and er… test live on Twitter.
Forgive any poorly embedded tweets, I’m not the best at internettery.

So, this German company gets in touch, suggesting I review a few of their products, I said yes, because… no, i don’t know why.

Anyway, let’s start our story the next day…

And then fast forward to the night, when everyone was in bed…

That’s a couple of random chinese packages too, just to make things fun…

Of course, twitter being what it is, instantly chose the correct box.

Not one to rush into things headfirst, of course I had to tease my followers a bit first…

…which naturally got some people cross.

Of course, the delaying tactics worked well to help gather more of an audience…

So, moving into the mancave, away from the disapproving eyes of Mitzy the cat…

A bluff was called…

and fully embraced…

But enough teasing, the smaller box was opened…

and unpacked carefully…

And finally…

Twitter reacted as it does…

https://twitter.com/superchris57/status/737758318559698944

So, that was the first box…

Now for a tense unpacking…

And a rather floppy reveal.

So… some kind of floppy fake vagina.

First impressions…

And equally enthusiastic second impressions…

Naturally, Twitter demanded I test it…

Well… I’m not gonna get my bits out, even on the promise of multiple retweets, but test it I did, for I had planned ahead….

A quick observation…

And then down to some proper scientific testing…

And that’s how that little adventure ended.

Of course, one has to leave his audience craving more…

If you’ve enjoyed this nonsense, why not have a look at my Patreon site, maybe encourage me to do more things of a similar style to this. Like I need encouragement.

Or, y’know, buy me a coffee. Get me hyper on caffeine and see what happens.

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Comments
  1. […] more things arrived from the German people, and for some reason a lot of folk like reading about it. So here are last night’s unboxing […]

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  2. […] Random… er… German… Crap (NSFW, Maybe) […]

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