There’s a brand new movie of Roald Dahl’s The BFG out, and I’ve been asked to review the new movie tie-in edition of the book, packed with bonus activities and such.
Invited Jess to help me review, because I thought she could do with a break from her busy schedule of doing whatever it is 11 year-olds do, watching Miranda Sings on YouTube or not tidying up.
Fudgey – So, what’s this book about then?
Jess – You said you’ve already read it when you were little.
Fudgey – Yes, but tell the blog people. Some of them are very old and forgetful.
Jess – Are they the crazy women that like you because of your beard?
Fudgey – No. They are all youthful and beautiful and brave and lovely. The old, forgetful people are completely separate people to those people. Completely different. TELL ME ABOUT THE BOOK.
Jess – The book is about a little girl called Sophie who meets The BFG (which stands for Big Friendly Giant) and he takes her home to Giant Country, then they decide to stop the bad giants who like eating people (who they call human beans).
Fudgey – Does the BFG not eat people then?
Jess – No, he only eats Snozzcumbers, which are the only thing that grows in Giant Country. They are like giant cucumbers, but taste horrible.
Fudgey – That sounds like my diet from last month. What does he drink?
Jess – He drinks Frobscottle, which is a fizzy drink that makes him do Whizzpoppers.
Fudgey – Which are…?
Jess – You know what they are! Big poops!
Fudgey – So besides eating snozzcumbers and drinking fart juice, what does the BFG stand for?
Jess – He visits people at night and gives them happy dreams that he catches in Dream Country.
Fudgey – What about the bad giants then? I assume Sophie and The BFG have to stop them somehow…
Jess – They visit The Queen and she helps them out.
Fudgey – The actual Queen? Awesome.
Jess – Yes, she helps them by getting the Army, and then they capture all the bad giants and put them in hole for ever.
Fudgey – Well, I suppose they deserve that for eating all those people. Why would they do that anyway?
Jess – I think they do it because people from different countries taste like different things. Human beans (beings) from Turkey taste like turkey, for example.
Fudgey – That’s weird.
Jess – It’s a weird book, but it is good.
Fudgey – Do you want to go and see the new movie?
Jess – I do. It looks really good. I watched the old cartoon movie the other day and that looks really old and not very good.
Fudgey – It hasn’t aged well, compared to some movies. I suppose the new one will look all modern and fancy.
Jess – I think it looks amazing. I think some the bad giants will be a bit scary, and I think I want to see how they do the Whizzpopper scenes. When are we going to see it?
Fudgey – Soon. I expect. Have you done your chores?
Jess – ….
Fudgey – The book has bonus stuff! Tell me about that.
Jess – There’s a quiz, a dream jar for you to draw your own dream, a ‘How to Draw the BFG’ guide and a sample of George’s Marvellous Medicine.
Fudgey – I did the BFG drawing guide last night when I was bored. Wanna see?
Jess – er…
Fudgey – Yeahhhhhhhh.
Jess – …..
Fudgey – Come back!!!
Well. Some people just don’t recognise talent.
Here’s a trailer for the new movie, directed Steven Spielberg (1942, Always, possibly some other movies). Looks pretty fancy…
…and you can find out all sorts of other awesome Roald Dahl-based shenanigans by visiting the Roald Dahl Day Party page.
Right then, the competition. I’ve got a copy of this new version of The BFG book to give away, and all you have to do is email me on firstname.lastname@example.org and answer the following completely appropriate question…
What is your favourite descriptive term for a massive Whizzpopper?
This could be a single word, a phrase or a sound effect of your choice. I will choose my favourite, and will probably share the others over on Twitter or Facebook, so it wouldn’t hurt to follow me there. If you don’t want your flatulence nomenclature sharing with thousands of internet strangers, please say so.
The competition ends on August 7th, my decision will be final etc.
Good luck folks.