Hello. There’s an awful lot of talk about ‘Black’ Brexit, ‘White’ Brexit, ‘Grey’ Brexit, ‘Red, White and Blue’ Brexit going about on the social medias today but WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
I SHALL TELL YOU, CALM DOWN.
FUDGEY’S GUIDE TO BREXITS…
The end of the fucking universe, everything turns to ash, dogs and cats live together, mass hysteria. AAAAARGH
Let’s have our own way but still have a cuddle and the occasional cuddle if I’ve had a drink. But a drink of something British.
What’s happening? I don’t fucking know. Can we still eat Vol Au Vents? AAAAAARGH
RED WHITE AND BLUE BREXIT
Everything is fine. Stay in your homes. Trust your betters. Don’t look outside, there is nothing bad to see. IT’S FINE.
Ah. It’s all a bit boring. Has something bad happened? Oh. Ah well. Where are my slippers?
BLACK AND BLUE BREXIT
Ow! What the fu- OW! BELGIUM STOP HITTING M-oh bloody hell not you too Germa-AARGH Luxembourg I thought you were cool!
Starring! BORIS JOHNSON as GEORGE! NIGEL FARAGE as ZIPPY! Er… er… someone as BUNGLE! Dammit, Fudgey, you don’t know enough modern politician names to be able to complete this poorly thought out analogy!
Simply add 150ml of milk and microwave for 90 seconds and you have a delicious gloopy mess and a red outline!
Inexplicably blue. Why is bubblegum pink but bubblegum flavour stuff always blue? Explain that to me, so called experts.
What the Hulk does to his purple pants when he gets cross.
ITSY BITSY TEENY WEENY YELLOW POLKA DOT BREXIT
Never emerges from the water, represented by Timmy Mallett miming “Oh Yeah” really badly on Top Of The Pops.
Full of fibre and wholemeal goodness. Ruins a good bacon butty.
I think this is a Justice League person.
The top baby name choice amongst hipsters in 2018.
That’s enough Brexits for now.
Send me money.