Fudgey’s Guide To Brexits

Posted: December 6, 2016 in Fudgecrumpet
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Hello. There’s an awful lot of talk about ‘Black’ Brexit, ‘White’ Brexit, ‘Grey’ Brexit, ‘Red, White and Blue’ Brexit going about on the social medias today but WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

I SHALL TELL YOU, CALM DOWN.

FUDGEY’S GUIDE TO BREXITS…

BLACK BREXIT

The end of the fucking universe, everything turns to ash, dogs and cats live together, mass hysteria. AAAAARGH

WHITE BREXIT

Let’s have our own way but still have a cuddle and the occasional cuddle if I’ve had a drink. But a drink of something British.

GREY BREXIT

What’s happening? I don’t fucking know. Can we still eat Vol Au Vents? AAAAAARGH

RED WHITE AND BLUE BREXIT

Everything is fine. Stay in your homes. Trust your betters. Don’t look outside, there is nothing bad to see. IT’S FINE.

BEIGE BREXIT

Ah. It’s all a bit boring. Has something bad happened? Oh. Ah well. Where are my slippers?

BLACK AND BLUE BREXIT

Ow! What the fu- OW! BELGIUM STOP HITTING M-oh bloody hell not you too Germa-AARGH Luxembourg I thought you were cool!

RAINBOW BREXIT

Starring! BORIS JOHNSON as GEORGE! NIGEL FARAGE as ZIPPY! Er… er… someone as BUNGLE! Dammit, Fudgey, you don’t know enough modern politician names to be able to complete this poorly thought out analogy! 

RED(dy) BREXIT

Simply add 150ml of milk and microwave for 90 seconds and you have a delicious gloopy mess and a red outline!

BUBBLEGUM BREXIT

Inexplicably blue. Why is bubblegum pink but bubblegum flavour stuff always blue? Explain that to me, so called experts.

GREEN BREXIT

What the Hulk does to his purple pants when he gets cross.

ITSY BITSY TEENY WEENY YELLOW POLKA DOT BREXIT

Never emerges from the water, represented by Timmy Mallett miming “Oh Yeah” really badly on Top Of The Pops.

BROWN BREXIT

Full of fibre and wholemeal goodness. Ruins a good bacon butty.

BLUE BREXIT

I think this is a Justice League person.

MAUVE BREXIT

The top baby name choice amongst hipsters in 2018.

That’s enough Brexits for now.

Send me money.

Bye.

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