Movies Mended By Modern Marvels

Posted: May 9, 2017 in Fudgecrumpet
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Let’s fix some crappy movie tropes with the use of modern technology! Yay!

Yes, I had a very good, well written introduction to this post but I accidentally deleted it in my pocket. Then I wrote another well written introduction and accidentally deleted it in my pocket as well. The moral of this story is that I shouldn’t be allowed pockets.

Movie Trope – Key Fumbling

When a character is being pursued by some sort of Stabby McGee, and tension is built by them being unable to find their keys, end up dropping them under the car just out of reach or have a sudden inability to use the keys… They get the keys just in time but somehow the delay has allowed Stabby McGee to… get. in. the. back. seat!

Solution – Keyless Entry/Ignition

SEE! The potential victim no longer has to fumble for their keys and their car unlocks instantly as they pull on the handle.

Poor Stabby McGee is left alone in the car park. He cries a little.

Movie Trope – Mexican Standoff

When three or more characters all end up pointing their guns at each other, the only way things can end is badly… 

Solution – Fitness Wristbands

Wearing fitness wristbands, nobody wants to stand still for too long. The ensuing bouncy circle of gun-toting action characters looks so ridiculous that they decide to power walk to the nearest protein smoothie bar for an adult discussion, followed by a conpetitive lifting session at a nearby gym and maybe a nice bbq chicken pizza to cancel out all that ridiculous exercise.

Movie Trope – The Dark Lord of All Evil

An all-powerful villain, ruling over an empire of opression and despair. Probably lives in a massive castle full of traps. Wears black. Utterly terrifying.

Solution – Fidget Spinners

With his time taken up spinning his new Fidget Spinner really fast for no particular reason, Senator Palpatine just can’t be bothered wiping out all the jedi or even representing Naboo in the Galactic Senate. Tom Riddle keeps himself busy with his spinner, putting all thoughts of Muggle subjugation to one side and keeping his nose. Even Skeletor avoids the dark path, staying in Snake Mountain playing with his spinner, which is actually just Triclop’s eye thing on his head.

Right. All done, apologies about this taking nigh on two weeks to do, I’ve had a cold. Buy me a lemsip or maybe keep me earning enough money so I can afford a proper scarf.

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  1. […] Movies Mended By Modern Marvels […]

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