Well, we’re into the second half of my (not daily in the slightest, sorry) A to Z blog thing, and we’ve reached O for Oddbods. I honestly thought I’d have given up by this point, but here we are.

In pondering what I could write on the subject of oddbods, I decided that rather than write about the various weirdos and loonies that I encounter on the interwebs, i’d throw the floor open to them and write something based on their suggestions…

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From @MoSnoking
The father-in-law recently got a bouncy castle for all my kids, nephews and nieces and such during whatever week of Summer we get this year, and birthday parties and such.
I was surprised how heavy it is when deflated, weighing quite possibly the same amount as an actual real non-bouncy castle. I may be exaggerating.
The bouncy castle smells like a cat died in it, which is probably not a bad thing, as that would drown out all the smells of blood and urine that will have gathered over the years.
Once, when I was little, one of my parents’ friends decided to jump onto a bouncy castle as they were deflating it. He was the only one that found the inevitable pain and partial smothering that occurred mere seconds later.

From @RobGreen78
“that time at work when I was asked to open the lock to …” (if your job is really boring, then make something up) 
See, the thing is, everyone seems to think my job as a locksmith and safe engineer is really interesting and exciting and different and fancy and special and like something out of a movie but to me it’s just a job, just like any other job, and as such I consider it fairly boring. I’ve opened many weird and obscure locks, though, so I suppose I could write about them.
I opened a big safe in Harewood House. It was big and there was a vase in it.
I opened a prop safe for Eric Pollard’s shop on Emmerdale (Farm), it was in the Yorkshire TV prop store, where Dusty Bin from 3-2-1 lives on a shelf.
I opened a safe in a fish and chip shop once and they gave me free chips.
Ah fuck it, I can’t make this sound interesting. Except the Dusty Bin thing.

From @samikirkby
Best character to be when playing super MARIO Kart? 
I was told that Toad was the best one to use, but I think they told me that so they could beat me. I always likes Waluigi best because he doesn’t give a shit.

From @CauldronDecor
I don’t like rice, except in Rice Krispies. My mouth doesn’t seem to understand it and I end up just chewing it, not swallowing it for about half an hour.

From @MeadowTrampler
Puffins are better than penguins and I will put a big red line through your name on my Christmas card list if you say otherwise. Baby Puffins are called Pufflings.

and last and by no means less enthusiastic, from @blogofdad
How did pants become a thing
The Queen – Hot or not?
Why ducks are better than geese
Sausages – God’s gift to human kind or the work of Satan?
How to achieve peace in the Middle East 

Pants became a thing because of low growing brambles.
Hot in the 50s, less so now. Not that an older woman is a bad thing, just that she probably can’t get her legs all the way up.
Geese are massive honking wankers who fly over my house at 4am and wake the dog up.
They are both, which is fine because Satan is merely an alternative construct of God, since neither can exist without the other.
Fidget Spinners.

So that is, as they probably say, is that. Suggestions from the Oddbods of Twitter. Please don’t hesitate to follow them all, they are all perfectly lovely despite outward appearances.

If you like what you’ve read here and wanna express some sort of gratitude, why not buy me a coffee?

If you REALLY like what you’ve read here, and want things to improve in ways unimaginable to known science, why not chip into my Patreon and stop the missus nagging to me about how all this effort doesn’t make any money so why do you do it Alan why? She calls me Alan when she’s cross. or horny. Usually cross.

Obviously, you should be following me on the Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and all the other internet outlets too. I do try my best to spread myself all over the place like Nutella on toast but less sexy.

  1. rob says:

    Free chips! And thanks for answering my question too.


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