Breakfudge At Tiffany’s

Posted: Nov 6, 2017 in Fudgecrumpet
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

For absolutely no reason I’ve been looking at ridiculous rich girl shop website Tiffany & Co.

I thought I would share some of the wonderfully expensive shit that you didn’t know you didn’t need.

So, let’s start with a modest purchase, something you probably could make do with two of.

Paper Cups. £90

Although, I should point out that these aren’t actually paper cups, so you’re paying for a lie.

Now, something for the sportsman in your life.

Golf tee, £165

A single golf tee. For shoving into dirt and hitting a ball off. You’d probably lose it as well, so make sure to buy a bag full.

Now, I know wars have been started over this next one…

Crazy Straw, £330

I can’t imagine what it must be like to drink Ribena through this. Probably really ruddy stupid.

Remember maths? Sure you do. Now you can recreate the Oxford Mathematics Set for a mere 1000% of the original…

Set Square,£375

Protractor, £400

Ruler, £425

I imagine this ruler has more than enough inches to measure anything the potential purchaser wants to measure.

That’s a small penis remark. Just so we’re clear.

Anyway, time to celebrate…

Party hat, £945

I imagine you could make a budget version of this by sticking a funnel on your head.

And now it gets silly…

Tin can, £945

I imagine you could pay 35p extra and get them to fill this with beans or spaghetti hoops or something.

And if these prices aren’t mad enough…

Ball of yarn, £8,475

For that knitting enthusiast in your life, why not ask them to make you some socks.

So there you go, a nice little shopping list for you. Comes to something where you have to choose between buying a helicopter or a ball of wool.

If you want to make me so rich I can one day afford to buy the cheapest thing in this shop then why not chuck a quid or two into my Patreon. Yay.

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