I GOT SENT SOME FLOWERS AND NOBODY HAD TO DIE!!!

This might be too sexy.

The lovely people at Home Bargains Flowers somehow think I am the right sort of person to make their flowers seem cool and exciting, so they sent me a massive box.

What was in the box? Has Gwyneth Patrow’s head really grown that much? Is it some sort of elaborate clockwork trap to make me appreciate life better?

No. It was flowers. I already said I got sent flowers. Pay attention.

Look at the pretty flowers. LOOK AT THEM.

They came with a note from a lovely man called Michael, who types with italic text. I don’t know what that is supposed to imply. Anyway, that ruined my plan for surprising Gem with a gift of flowers because now she is in love with Michael, despite his penchant for italic text.

The flowers also came with a glass vase to put them in, which is good because keeping them in the sink is apparently “how are we supposed to fill the kettle up Alan?”

There. Another picture of some flowers. Look. Flowers.

Right. Professional reviewer. These flowers are lovely and having checked out both http://www.homebargainsflowers.co.uk/next-day-flowers and their charity flowers page I’ve found these are fantastic value, certainly a better option than going down to the crematorium the Monday after mother’s day. Also they’re of comparable if not better quality than the last lot of overpriced flowers I got for Gem from Next. Although they don’t have twigs with bits of glitter on. I mean, that’s fine for me because I’m allergic to glitter but if you like twigs with glitter on you might need to buy your own.

Right, go and have a look at the Home Bargains Flowers page, get some fancy pansies delivered tomorrow. Go on. Hurry up.

Professional reviewer.

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