Awesome Promo Whore

Posted: May 31, 2018 in Fudgecrumpet
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Hey ladies, how ya doin?

So this is just me whoring myself out for Twitch followers again. Because I’m SO CLOSE to the criteria to claim Affiliate Status and start broadcasting to make a small amount of pocket money, and that would be really quite nice.

So, first things first.

You need to set up a Twitch account.

“Why? I don’t wanna see people playing video games. I am a grown up with alcohol issues.” I hear you say. Well, I could argue that Twitch isn’t just gaming, but I doubt you’ll be massively bothered by a softcore cosplay pornstar doing household chore and yoga while wearing two Wonderbras.

Instead, I say, just do it. For me. Because you love me.

Or, y’know, just log in under your kid’s account. Bribe them with Fortnite tokens or Candy Crush lives or whatever.

Next, you’ll need to follow me.

Just go to twitch.tv/fudgecrumpet and click the heart symbol. No, that doesn’t make me love you, but it does mean you love me. You could send me a friend request too if you want. It doesn’t mean you’re invited to my barbecue this weekend (unless you bring your own meat)

Right then, if you have Amazon Prime (y’know for buying books and dildos without paying postage) you can upgrade your Twitch account to Twitch Prime for free. This removes ads from any videos you watch and also means you get one free subscription for a channel of your choosing. That subscription gives a channel an income of *I think* £3-5 a month. Now, I can’t accept subscriptions until I hit the magical 50 followers and get set up with an affiliate status, so I highly recommend for the time being subscribing to my good pal Zed over on twitch.tv/shovelwarehouse at least until I get sorted, then you can ruthlessly abandon him and give me some love.

And that’s your lot. Maybe tune in and watch me play a game or two. Usually I can only play late at night, say after 10 when Gem and the kids and dog are asleep and can’t cause mischief. I try and make it fun, and I have a sexy voice apparently. So do that.

So, yeah. Do that.

Here’s an unrelated video of me playing Ms Pac-Man and swearing at ghosts.

Bye bye.

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