Dog Walk.

Posted: Jul 2, 2018 in Fudgecrumpet
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Events documented on dog walk 01.07.2018 1845BST.

In attendance;

  • Me, Fudgey, 38
  • Middle Child, Meg, 8
  • Youngest Child, Darcey (pushchair), 2
  • Dog, Sheldon, 3

  • 1845 – Walk begins with Meg holding dog lead, me holding pushchair
  • Immediate swap of responsibility as Gem warns that the dog is ‘bloody idiot’
  • Meg drives pushchair into inescapable ditch
  • Ditch is no longer inescapable as pushchair is escaped
  • “Let’s go fast” plan declared by Meg
  • “Let’s go fast” plan abandoned 20yds into the first upward slope
  • 1852 – “Can we go home?” count – 14
  • Pushchair/dog responsibilities swap as we leave the main road.
  • Complaints about walking up hill are replaced with Meg complaining about Sheldon wanting to sniff everything, delaying her “Let’s hurry home” plan
  • Dog lead/pushchair responsibilities quickly switched again as dog sniffing is too annoying for Meg (also no hill)
  • Meg – “Can we go to the shop?”
  • Meg- “Can we buy chewing gum?”
  • Meg – “It would be a proper adventure if we went to the shop.”
  • We do not go to the shop.
  • Meg – “Let’s play a game. You say random words and I will say the first thing that comes into my head”
  • Cheese “Stinky”
  • Potato “Marianne. Because Marianne likes potato.”
  • Monkeys “Daddy”
  • Meg – “Let’s play a different game. Let’s say words in alphabetical order. Amazing”
  • Banana
  • “Continuous”
  • It is at this point the dog does a poo. As a responsible dog owner I bag up the poop and chuck it in a nearby skip
  • 1906 – Meg – “Is there a hill that is 100% slope?”
  • Meg – “My arms hurt”
  • Dog lead/pushchair responsibilities have again switched. For those not using a chart or whiteboard, Meg is now in charge of the dog, I am in charge of the pushchair
  • A helicopter passes overhead. We stop to watch, because helicopters are cool
  • Phone battery is at 10%, need to hurry home
  • Random passer-by says “alright?” I say “Aye”, because Yorkshire.
  • Darcey drops her hat, probably because she felt left out of this story
  • 1914 – We arrive home.

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