Sainsbury’s are being all festive this year and have released stupid flavoured tea because stupid people like me will go out and buy them for the novelty value like stupid bloody idiots.
Look.
Naturally, even though I am stupid enough to buy such stupid nonsense, I also know a good blog post when I see one. So, here is my review of this glorious shit.
1. Sainsbury’s Pigs in Blanket flavour Tea
Lapsang souchong teabags with sage and rosemary.
SMELL
The smell! It’s like a mixture of sausages and the bit in museums where they have an interactive ‘smell’ exhibit
Very strong. May have to irradiate the kitchen.
TASTE
Tastes like hot water with herbs, but the overwhelming sausage smell makes it impossible to drink.
Ugh.
SCORE
Pork/10
🐷🐖🐽🐷🐖🐽🐷🐖🐽🐷🐖🐽🐷🐖🐽🐷🐖🐽🐷🐖🐽
2. Brussels Sprouts Tea
Green tea with Brussels Sprouts
SMELL
Smells of tea and vegetable stock, not too strong. More tea than sprout.
TASTES
Extremely bland tea, with a very distinct sprouts aftertaste. A bit like drinking ditch water or if you make a cuppa with the same water you boiled some cabbage in.
SCORE
0/Flavour
🤭🤢🤮🤭🤢🤮🤭🤢🤮🤭🤢🤮🤭🤢🤮🤭🤢🤮🤭🤢🤮
CONCLUSION
Sausage Tea is worse than Sprout Tea. At least the sprout tea didn’t fill the room with the stench of fancy pork.
Stupid.
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Also, shout-outs to the following people, whose replies to my tweets got screenshotted by the ‘women section’ of the Daily Mail in their article on this subject (I’m not linking because they don’t deserve it), without any credit being sent their way. Give them a follow and tell them Fudgey sent ya. Ta x
- @Peabea22
- @Soundgirl64
- @davecbannerman
- @Alucardjin
- @Hyperopia
- @Honetmonster
- @IdidntdoDallas
- @Spongepuddin
- @littleshopau
So don’t buy the tea then? 😂 Okay I won’t.
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