Archive for the ‘beard’ Category

So, remember back in the olden days when I sang the praises of the movie The Battery? Well, they ran a Kickstarter so they could afford not to die after throwing all their money into their second movie. So, rather than funding the movie, the lovely people on the internet have paid to support the creators instead. What you end up with is a rather funky idea, a movie released for free, almost instantly.

tex

So, in an attempt to somehow take credit for the project’s success (I retweeted about it at least four times), I present TEX MONTANA WILL SURVIVE, and ask that you share it with all your friends, and continue to support Jeremy’s beard at least until he cashes in his Kickstarter money and buys a Gillette Mach 3.

Hello you. You alright?
Of course you are, shut up.

BEARDS.

Beards seem to be considered a good thing nowadays, amongst all the lazy shavers and horny women of a certain age. I have a beard. On my face. But enough about me.

Here is my guide to professional bearding, presented in a number of bullet points because that means I don’t have to concentrate as much on grammar.

beard

1. What is a ‘beards’?
A ‘beard’ is hair grown from the lower face of a man, that covers most of the chin. In addition to a beard, there may also be a ‘moustache’ above the top lip. In fact, this is pretty much an essential for bearding, unless one is bearding in an amish society or wearing a stovepipe hat like that bloke off of that film that one time.
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