Archive for the ‘boobies’ Category

Hello boys and girls.

I have about an hour of sitting on my arse as we commute between jobs, so figured a bit of random internet content creation would stop me getting frustrated by the Radio Leeds phone-in show that is being piped into my ears.

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On an unrelated note, I updated my phone and it now has a spell-checker. It doesn’t think arse is a word. (more…)

There are only a few times in my life when I feel utter dread. One is getting a phone call from the kids’ school in the middle of the day, another is the smoke alarm going off at 3 in the morning, but worse than all of these are when you see written on her Christmas wish list the following three words…

‘Bra and Pants’

Diagram One - Bras and Pants. On Ladies.

Diagram One – Bras and Pants. On Ladies.

Yeah, so I have an utter fear of lingerie shops, where everything is made of lace and silk, things come in some sort of arbitrary size system that makes little to no sense, where things come with accessories that look like something you see in German videos on the internet, and you live in fear of accidentally falling into a shelf and making all the pants and stuff fly everywhere.

Well, now those feelings of dread and terror have come to an end with BOUX AVENUE’S BUYING GUIDE FOR MEN TO LINGERIE. Which isn’t just an excuse to have photos of ladies in sexy pants to attract more male readers.

but, y'know... if it works...

but, y’know… if it works…

So, fellas, if you’re stuck with the Christmas mission of dressing your missus in something sexy and skimpy, have a look at that there guide, which has info about sizes, styles as well as links to all those faffy accessories and stuff that girls like to wear for you when they accidentally blew up the toaster and don’t want you to be mad at them. With this funky guide, you’re guaranteed to impress her, and won’t have to put up with her wearing those godawful cream granny pants to bed every other night.

I can't think of a caption for this. Nothing clean anyway.

I can’t think of a caption for this. Nothing clean anyway.

Also, if you get yourself across to www.bouxavenue.com before the 22nd December, you’ll still be able to get your presents delivered before Christmas, so there’s no need to get your knickers in a twist. Yeah, I went there.

Bip.

Bip boop bip.

Tikker tikker tikker tikker

SQUWAAAAARK

*uncomfortable silence*

TWANG.

Under The Skin.

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BLAND THEFT AUTO

To accompany this awesome bit of parody from Neal Mayhem ( http://minutesofmayhem.com/forget-grand-theft-auto-5-check-bland-theft-auto/#more-7351 ) I present Bland Theft Auto!

So, Twitter is under attack from a rampant wave of horny spambots. What should we do about them? Bitch and whine? Be all grumpy and ask twitter to get rid of them? Or take the piss in a useful way…

Yeah, I went for that option. So, without further ado, I present BOT TRUMPS!
(On a serious note, you can use the cards to quickly identify the spam bots when they pop up on your follower list, if the garbled name and claims of slagginess aren’t dead giveaways)

So, print them off, ideally onto some stiff card or if you’re fancy onto paper then laminate them.
Usual trumpy card rules apply, split the deck between however many of you there are, first person names a category, whoever has the highest score wins that round of cards. Oh for fucks sake, if you can’t play this game using whatever rules you learned as a kid, then you don’t deserve to play.

I look forward to seeing all your messages saying how much fun you had playing, or how by playing strip-bot trumps you ended up getting a damn good soapy titwank from your next door neighbour.

(Right then, Copyright nonsense. If I’ve trod on any legal shoes making these Bot Trumps, or using unauthorised pics or whatever, and you’re pissed off, let me know and I’ll remove stuff. Cheers)