Archive for the ‘fish custard’ Category

So… in a change to our regular Movie Night shenanigans, I’m gonna do a live chunter while watching (for the first time), found-footage Rosemary’s Baby-ish horror film Devil’s Due. Expect me to go off on one at some point, if the movie annoys or bores me or if I get distracted by something. I get distracted by stuff easily. Spoiler Alert. Probably.

Devil's Due

So… without futher ado… DEVIL’S DUE

0:00:00 – Movie Starts with police interview framing sequence. Meh.
0:08:47 – “Hey! Why don’t I write a live blog movie night post?”
0:08:48 – So…. it’s all camcordery. The main couple just got married, filmed all that, didn’t film the honeymoon night. Feel conned.
0:11:00 – Nothing much has happened yet. Nothing Devilly anyway. (more…)

Penguins are flightless birds that muck about in the arctic and such. Or the antarctic.
The one without the bears.
Anyway, they can swim, quite fast, but look like drunken idiots when they try and dive in.
Once every year or maybe fortnight, they march off to some place or other to find a mate. Apparently this involves singing bad pop songs. Like in Glee.
Anyway, then there’s some egg making, and then the boy penguin looks after the egg while the girl penguin goes off shopping at mothercare or to get some fish for tea.
Penguins like fish, by the way. I’m not sure which fish is their favourite, probably tuna. Or trout. Or pilchard. Or shark. Actually, probably not shark. They’d never catch one.
Anyway, apparently tap dancing is not good for penguins.
Penguin’s greatest enemy is obviously the most dangerous creature in all of nature – man. Or Godzilla. Actually, yeah. Godzilla would probably do more damage. Ooh and a tiger. A tiger could kill a penguin. Easily. It’d just slap it’s face off.
Penguins are waterproof, but not fireproof, bulletproof or immune to lasers. Or tigers.
And that’s everything i know about penguins, i hope it filled the penguin shaped gap of knowledge in your brain.

What? You wanted a witty political commentary on the upcoming general election? Nah, penguins are more fun.

Yay It’s Eggmas!

I do hope you’re all so full of chocolate eggs that you’re about to give birth to a chocolate chicken. I’ve been trying to keep my chocolate intake to a minimum, but I’ve only been able to cope by substituting more fried meat into my diet. And that’s a lot of fried meat.

What has I been doing this freakishly long weeeeekend?
Good (open for debate) Friday…
Went to the MOSI at Manchester, somewhat disappointing given that the museum had a bloody great building site down the middle, resulting in excessive lift use and walking to get from one building to the other (and making a post museum McDonalds trip more of a necessity than a treat). Also the kid’s play section has been completely removed (new stuff coming soon, apparently, fat lot of good that is) so instead of an interactive museum adventure a la Eureka, Jess was left to follow us around relatively dull, mostly static exhibits.
On the plus side, they did have a Dyson Airblade hand dryer in the toilets and that’s just fucking cool.

Saturday…
We went to Ponderosa, which is like a zoo, but with rubbish animals. On a plus note, my parents paid for everything, Jess got to hold a snake (provoking crazy squealing from her wiggly-phobic mother) and I had a nice sandwich.
After that we went shooping (which is like shopping, but typed very quickly with fat fingers) and I got meself Day of the Dead on blu-ray (with free Bub comic! Result!) and some Transformers Animated DVDs on the cheap. Oh, also I made the greatest parental mistake ever by starting Jess’ Zhu Zhu Hamster collection.
Assuming you’re not a child, or you don’t have kids, I’ll explain what a Zhu Zhu Hamster is. Basically, you know those shoddy little battery powered hamsters that you used to be able to buy from the market for £1 to entertain the cat, well they’re basically the same, but with sound chips so they make a squeak, a greatly inflated price tag and ACCESSORIES. No, that’s not a caps lock mistake, there’s a bloody lot of ACCESSORIES. Including Baby Hamsters, Vehicles, Clothes, Play tracks, a Garage and Little bags and blankets for carrying the overpriced little bastards about with. So far, we’ve got Jilly the pink hamster, a ‘sports car’ and a little bag. And somehow Gem has agreed with Jess that we need to buy more stuff. Including babies for the thing. Ugh.

Eggmas Day…
Much confusion as to what we’re actually supposed to do on the Easter Sunday, seeing as we’re not church goers and The Goonies isn’t on TV. Instead, we’re at the in-laws, I’m typing this blog and uploading the ridiculously massive England map onto my Nokia’s new free sat nav (2 hours and waiting).
Tonight we’ll be either watching The Mummy 3, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, The Strangers or whatever Come Dine With My Country House Rescue In The Sun crap Gem has recorded on the sly. Actually, she did mention The Vampire Diaries, but I doubt we’ll watch that, because she knows I’ll just hum annoyingly all the way through, and complain about how Buffy was better.
Oh, and also we’ll be watching Doctor Who, because the PlayTV thing decided to only tape 20 minutes of the new show last night. Of that 20 minutes, Matt Smith managed to impress both me and Gem, especially Gem, who was ready for a post-Tennant boycott until Matt said ‘fish custard’. She’s easily pleased. Well, televisually she is.

Eggmas Monday…
Not sure what we’re doing tomorrow, probably gonna be visiting my Auntie Irene whotalksveryfastandsaysalotwithoutactuallysayingmuch. And then maybe we’ll be swimming, although that depends if we can get Meg a swimming cozzy (which I’ve just remembered, and Gem seems to have forgotten). Also it depends if the swimming pool place is open, and not too crowded with smelly pool-pissers.

Oh, and this weekend I’ve had a break off of twitter, because both me n gem decided it was getting a bit dull, folk not talking, random unfollowing for stupid reasons, and general childish bitchiness. As such, I’ve missed out on doing #letscelebr8by tweets for Peanut Butter and Jelly Day, Alec Guinness’ birthday, International Pillow Fight Day and much more. Hopefully someone out there remembered to celebrate them, without me telling them to…

Oh, and it’s the missus’ 1st year twitterversary today, her general twitter experience ranging from meh to ooh to crazy addicted to annoyance and then back to her present state of meh. Perhaps it’s some sort of repeating cycle.

And that’s your lot, can’t think of anything else to type now. Oooh I mended the trackerball on the missus’ blackberry. I didn’t even use a hammer. Yay me.

Ok that’s it, you can go back to eating your eggs. But if you get the squits, don’t expect me to wipe your ass.

;-p