Archive for the ‘food’ Category

Here is a video I made. If you like and subscribe I will dedicate my naughty touching tonight to you.

Om nom nom. In Polish

Sainsbury’s are being all festive this year and have released stupid flavoured tea because stupid people like me will go out and buy them for the novelty value like stupid bloody idiots.

Look.

Naturally, even though I am stupid enough to buy such stupid nonsense, I also know a good blog post when I see one. So, here is my review of this glorious shit.

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Hey there, you OK?

WOAH! There’s no need to shout!

Whaddya mean I look like I’m further away?

Oh! You mean I look smaller, yeah, I went and dropped 2 jeans sizes with this here fitness and lifestyle changing thing that I was going to write about.

When was I going to write about it? Well, I was gonna start now, but you seem to be a bit over-confrontational about the whole thing.

OK, OK, calm down. I didn’t realise you were under so much pressure with work and that. I’m sorry too. Here, sit down. Feeling better? Good. Can I write about the diet thing now?

Thank you. Sheesh, some people

No, I didn’t say anything. Whaddya mean you heard ‘Sheesh some people’? No, that was just one of the sliding doors on Star Trek. You know, the ones that were a mixture of someone’s shoe and a guy going Pissshh. Yeah, it was definitely that. You need to stop binging on Netflix and get some rest. You look very tired. Good.

HELLO EVERYONE! Welcome to my write up on my nigh-on two months of being incredibly well behaved and awesome, following Ru-Tee Block’s 8-week long The Body Confidence Program.

unnamed

Oh, and just so you’re fully aware of the facts before you get a crick in your neck from trying to run away, this blog post does include several photos of me in just my pants. You’re OK with that? You sure? Ok…

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While shopping yesterday, we happened to go down the American Sweets aisle of Tesco, and the kids spotted these Beanboozled jelly beans. They suggested we eat them and film the results.

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I am too much of an idiot to say no. (more…)

Hi there everyone,

Just thought I’d let you guys watch a little video all about nutrition, especially for kids during the first 1000 days of their life (That’s about 2 years and 9 months, in case you didn’t just use a calculator like I just did). It’s packed with useful info about childhood obesity, swapping out sugar, what you should eat when you’re pregnant or breast feeding. It’s all very informative and well presented. You can tell I didn’t make it.

UEG

This isn’t the video, stop clicking on it. The video is at the bottom of all this well-crafted hilarious blog writing.

Obviously this interests me a fair deal, because I have one of those babies that happen currently asleep upstairs, waiting until I am at my most asleep and comfortable before kicking off asking for milk. I mean, I’m trying to get the other two kids to eat more healthy too, but if I make a fuss about that and they rebel, we’re gonna have riots in the streets, vampire/werewolf marriages, sequels to Mary Poppins, basically Armageddon in a handbag. (more…)

Hey there folks, remember how you said I looked a bit tired and rubbish? No, of course you don’t, you think I’m awesome. But if I DID look a bit tired and rubbish, you’d probably recommend I go on one of those detox things, like fitness people do, or celebrity ladies with little bottoms.

Well, it just so happens that Nutriplan are offering a fantastic new way to detox, without the faff of going out of your way to research and buy your own fancy ingredients and supplements.

nutri (more…)

Getting saucy, do you see?┬áBecause it’s sauce and also a bit of a naughty title to attract people to read the blog? No? Oh, well you bloody write this stuff. Sheesh.

blend bros

So, yeah, Blend Bros are a new company that make high-protein sauces to add to your food. Kinda like those high-protein milkshakes that healthy people eat, but in a sauce. For on top of your meat or vegetables or mixed in with whatever you’re cooking for tea. I’m not selling it well, am I?

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