Archive for the ‘kindle’ Category

So, yeah, getting in a habit of doing these now… Another of my twitter pals @abyirving has gone and converted her epic Graphic Novel script into a novella and she went and asked muggins here to do the front cover. So of course now I am obliged to pimp out this literary masterpiece and encourage you to buy it for your Kindle. Or download a free Kindle app and then buy it and download it into that. Which for some reason needs explaining every time I try pimping something out on the Kindle. Anyway, it’s an epic journey through the afterlife, or one man’s mentalist hallucination, or maybe a mixture of the two, I’ll leave that up to you to find out. Obviously, I’m going to say it’s fucking awesome, and if you do need a decent reason to buy it, well look no further than the cover, where I used a lovely retro font to make it look all old-school awesome and that. Yeah, font pimping. Cool.

Anyway the link is here —> <—- And obviously I'm going to have to insist that you share that link around all the little social networks you fiddle about it, be it Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Bebo, the Redtube forums, whatever. Maybe Google+ if that even still exists. The book itself is only £2.03 at the moment, and that's the same price as 10.15 packets of Beef Space Raiders. And they're not even nice anymore. They taste all plastic and shit. Spend your money on this here book instead, it'll help you lose some weight too. Space Raiders are fattening, I am told.

And so ends this commercial break.

The Front Cover of The Here After by Aby Irving. Cover By Al Terry

Suppose I should have mentioned this sooner, but I have written a book. Well, I say ‘written’, I mean I’ve been through this blog, copying and pasting the juicy good stuff, neglecting the self-indulgent shit, shoving it all together into a fancy bit of ebook.
It’s been up on amazon (search ‘fudgecrumpet’ and it’s the only result, which is cool) for just about two weeks, and after a brief spell in the bestselling kindle book chart (#96 for just over an hour, making it briefly more successful than Comedy Dave from Radio One) it now dwells around #11,000. But I suppose that ain’t half bad considering I’ve self published and that.
Oh, regarding that, a fair few folk asked how to go down the self publishing on amazon route, you can find all the info, free apps for conversion and that at .
So, yeah, I’m currently indulging in some nagging of twitter celebrities, which no doubt will have no effect. Which is annoying, as I need to sell at least another 240ish books before Amazon will send me a royalty cheque. y’know what, you’ve read this, maybe you could nag your friends to buy it. I’m not going to ask you to buy it though, you’ve already put enough effort in reading this bumph. Just tell your mates that it is awesome, promise them blowjobs and that if they buy the thing. Obviously don’t promise to perform the act yourself though, perhaps help them to find a slag in a nightclub. Or, if they’re a girl, promise them shoes. Shoes are like blowjobs for women.

And so, yeah, right, that was a bloody rubbish advert for my book, wasn’t it. Sorry. I can assure you it is good. Really.

Here’s a link if you find the “search amazon for ‘fudgecrumpet’ too bloody complicated. Or you’re just skimming this post and not really paying attention…

PS. Reading my old blog posts instead of buying the book counts as cheating. Fortunately, nobody has worked this out yet. Don’t tell them or I’ll never sell another pissing thing.