Archive for the ‘movie night’ Category

Continuing my in-depth investigation into the murky world of unpleasantness that is found in movies that share their name with Disney films, we come across 2011’s Sleeping Beauty, a movie that could be described as ‘artistic’ or ‘erotic’, but comes across more as ‘weird’ and ‘grubby’.

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So, remember back in the olden days when I sang the praises of the movie The Battery? Well, they ran a Kickstarter so they could afford not to die after throwing all their money into their second movie. So, rather than funding the movie, the lovely people on the internet have paid to support the creators instead. What you end up with is a rather funky idea, a movie released for free, almost instantly.

tex

So, in an attempt to somehow take credit for the project’s success (I retweeted about it at least four times), I present TEX MONTANA WILL SURVIVE, and ask that you share it with all your friends, and continue to support Jeremy’s beard at least until he cashes in his Kickstarter money and buys a Gillette Mach 3.

Yeah. So I’ve finally got around to finishing my Alien/Predator franchise.

I watched Prometheus.

 

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Hello there all you crazy alcoholics and party revellers and Predator fans and people who clicked this blog because I have included the words MILEY CYRUS JUSTIN BIEBER BOOBS MONEY PORN HADDOCK to abuse Google searching. Tonight’s movie night continues my Aliens/Predator marathon with the much-better-than-anyone-expected Predators, which abandons the godawful shonky shenanigans of the AvP movies and goes down the route of “Why don’t we make the film actually good for a change?”

Now obviously, after the last couple of movies, this leaves me with a dilemma, how do I write an entertaining movie night blog if the movie isn’t fucknawful? Well, the same way anyone makes a good night into a messy blur of awesomesauce and vomiting, with the addition of lots and lots of alcohol.

Predators (more…)

Well, I’ve been putting it off…

and putting it off…

and…

putting…

it…

off…

 

but…

Predatongue

Well, at least if I blog about this bloody nonsense now, I can say I’ll never have to do it again. Gonna do it in a live text commentary style, because then you at least know I’m watching it and not cheating by just writing down the occasional observation that I remembered about the movie. Which I would never do. Except that one time I did. When I felt guilt. Anyway, shut up, the shit’s starting.

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So now we find ourselves biting the bullet and beginning the cinematic mush that is Alien Vs Predator, in which everyone’s favourite penis–headed monsters battle everyone’s favourite vagina-mouthed space hunters.

avp

Now obviously it won’t take too much effort to guess my opinion of this film, so tonight, for lulz I have invited Gem to watch the movie with me, and will document her observations and questions. Because that’ll be more fun than the film, right?

Bearing in mind that Gem doesn’t like any of the Alien films. Or any of the Predator films. Or any good films. (more…)

Yeah. Well, it’s the ‘funny’ one. Alien Resurrection. I’ve not watched this in years because I didn’t like it then. Here’s hoping it’s matured with age. Like wine. Or cheese. Or Christmas cake. Or I can’t think of anything else.

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So, yeah, screw you trying to think of 10 original Alien/Predator themed photos. Meh. Eat bananas, folks, they’re good for you.

Tonight I am watching the 2003 Special Edition, although I sincerely doubt it will be in any way special. (more…)