Archive for the ‘Movie Night’ Category

Continuing my in-depth investigation into the murky world of unpleasantness that is found in movies that share their name with Disney films, we come across 2011’s Sleeping Beauty, a movie that could be described as ‘artistic’ or ‘erotic’, but comes across more as ‘weird’ and ‘grubby’.

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A wise man once said “All the good names are taken” (well actually it was a genderless robot in a Transformers comic) and you quite often find movies sharing the same name, yet being completely different in tone, style and story.

So, when you type in a movie’s name into Netflix search or whatever, you might occasionally end up with the wrong movie. So, what happens when you watch the wrong movie? What happens when you type in ‘Frozen’ and instead of a delightful magical family romp with disgustingly catchy songs you end up with some something else? Something… much darker. That’s what I’m here to delve into that murky world of horrible movies that share their name with your kids’ family favourites.

Let’s have a look at Frozen…

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So, remember back in the olden days when I sang the praises of the movie The Battery? Well, they ran a Kickstarter so they could afford not to die after throwing all their money into their second movie. So, rather than funding the movie, the lovely people on the internet have paid to support the creators instead. What you end up with is a rather funky idea, a movie released for free, almost instantly.

tex

So, in an attempt to somehow take credit for the project’s success (I retweeted about it at least four times), I present TEX MONTANA WILL SURVIVE, and ask that you share it with all your friends, and continue to support Jeremy’s beard at least until he cashes in his Kickstarter money and buys a Gillette Mach 3.

Yeah. So I’ve finally got around to finishing my Alien/Predator franchise.

I watched Prometheus.

 

And that’s all I have to say about that.

So, the trailer for the new Avengers movie has been leaked (or officially released, I’m no expert on such things) and I imagine by this point hundreds, if not twelves, of websites will have looked through the trailer, over-analysing every single frame and offering their ‘expert’ opinions and speculation and such. Well, obviously I’m going to do the same, but with the added addition of my knowledge and brain and fingers that type the words I type. (more…)

Hello there all you crazy alcoholics and party revellers and Predator fans and people who clicked this blog because I have included the words MILEY CYRUS JUSTIN BIEBER BOOBS MONEY PORN HADDOCK to abuse Google searching. Tonight’s movie night continues my Aliens/Predator marathon with the much-better-than-anyone-expected Predators, which abandons the godawful shonky shenanigans of the AvP movies and goes down the route of “Why don’t we make the film actually good for a change?”

Now obviously, after the last couple of movies, this leaves me with a dilemma, how do I write an entertaining movie night blog if the movie isn’t fucknawful? Well, the same way anyone makes a good night into a messy blur of awesomesauce and vomiting, with the addition of lots and lots of alcohol.

Predators (more…)

Well, I’ve been putting it off…

and putting it off…

and…

putting…

it…

off…

 

but…

Predatongue

Well, at least if I blog about this bloody nonsense now, I can say I’ll never have to do it again. Gonna do it in a live text commentary style, because then you at least know I’m watching it and not cheating by just writing down the occasional observation that I remembered about the movie. Which I would never do. Except that one time I did. When I felt guilt. Anyway, shut up, the shit’s starting.

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