Archive for the ‘news’ Category

Hi there. Let me just… oh, you just finish that first… done?

Right then, how about you-

oh. OK. Hey! Hey! Stop what you’re doing!

FFS, sit there, shut up, put your phone down. Good.

I know you’re busy, doing eight things at once, tweeting, facebooking, organising your Pokemon collection catalogue, pointing out that I’m only listing four things when I said eight. Well, I’m gonna save you some time, stop you being busy, and making that little purple vein on your head stop thumping like that time on Ren and Stimpy that I didn’t really watch because I didn’t really like Ren and Stimpy.


I’ve got here a new app called Bullet News. It lives on your phone, just like Candy Crush or that app you use to make fart noises when your missus sits down, and it gives you up to date news in a compressed super-futuristic fancy fashion (in a short list with dots on it) from all sorts of different places. (more…)

So, yeah, getting in a habit of doing these now… Another of my twitter pals @abyirving has gone and converted her epic Graphic Novel script into a novella and she went and asked muggins here to do the front cover. So of course now I am obliged to pimp out this literary masterpiece and encourage you to buy it for your Kindle. Or download a free Kindle app and then buy it and download it into that. Which for some reason needs explaining every time I try pimping something out on the Kindle. Anyway, it’s an epic journey through the afterlife, or one man’s mentalist hallucination, or maybe a mixture of the two, I’ll leave that up to you to find out. Obviously, I’m going to say it’s fucking awesome, and if you do need a decent reason to buy it, well look no further than the cover, where I used a lovely retro font to make it look all old-school awesome and that. Yeah, font pimping. Cool.

Anyway the link is here —> <—- And obviously I'm going to have to insist that you share that link around all the little social networks you fiddle about it, be it Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Bebo, the Redtube forums, whatever. Maybe Google+ if that even still exists. The book itself is only £2.03 at the moment, and that's the same price as 10.15 packets of Beef Space Raiders. And they're not even nice anymore. They taste all plastic and shit. Spend your money on this here book instead, it'll help you lose some weight too. Space Raiders are fattening, I am told.

And so ends this commercial break.

The Front Cover of The Here After by Aby Irving. Cover By Al Terry

I am the news…

Posted: Dec 15, 2012 in Fudgecrumpet, guardian, news, pope, twitter

So, yeah, I was news this week. Nothing important or anything, just mocking the world’s most famous vicar (after Father Dougal)…

Click this here —-> Linky

Oh yeah. Take that Popey. That’ll have him crying into his funny hat.

To be fair, I’ve tweeted much funnier tweets. Still, you gets what you pays for, and I’ve not been paid. They should pay me.

Oh, and no, the pope didn’t reply. Not even a LOL. Miserable sod.

Stick that in your Pope and Smoke it
Fudge vs Pope Round 1
Mass Effect IV
Don’t Stop Bibleieving
Pwned the Pwpe
Pontifex cakes are not liquorice