Archive for the ‘nonsense’ Category

From Nick Bellamy’s early experiments with a toy electronics kit through to internet notoriety and career suicide, The Mourning DJ is the new pseudo-autobiography by my top media pal Neal ‘Mayhem’ Veglio.

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It’s a New Year and everyone has made some sort of resolution pertaining to a form of self-improvement that is either vaguely achievable with considerable effort, impossible to quantify and therefore attainable based on interpretation or just annoyingly ironic. Well, here are mine…

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Hello boys and girls.

I have about an hour of sitting on my arse as we commute between jobs, so figured a bit of random internet content creation would stop me getting frustrated by the Radio Leeds phone-in show that is being piped into my ears.

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On an unrelated note, I updated my phone and it now has a spell-checker. It doesn’t think arse is a word. (more…)

Are you sitting comfortably? Well, don’t. Sitting comfortably is bad for your posture.

Now, listen, as I read you a lovely bedtime story, based on the movie Disney’s Frozen, which if you are a parent, you will despise with the very core of your soul.

Oh, and it’s 11 minutes long, so sit comfortably. Yes, I’m contrary.

Apologies for the vertical video and that.

If you liked that, let me know, and I’ll do more. Also, subscribe to my YouTube channel, because I dunno why.

Merry bloody Christmas, folks. Ho ho ho, you hoes.

So, you’ve bought yourself the Radio Times double issue, you’ve got yourself a multipack of capri-sun* pouches that you’re steadfastly refusing to open until the big day, and your Christmas tree is upright for the fourth time since the cat/kids/poor structural engineering of your house knocked it down.

*booze for you non-teetotallers.

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So, I guess it’s Christmas. A few days off work, should be nice and relaxing, watching your playing Candy Crush Soda Saga on the toilet, while hiding from the kids.
Then the missus comes in the room, in her low cut top which means she wants to get her own way.
“We need to go Christmas shopping.” She says.
“You did all the Christmas shopping in November, because you were saying how efficient and awesome you were.” You reply.
“I bought shoes.” She says. “And a cheesecake.”
You mumble all the swear words and kick the cat, who squeals angrily and pulls down the Christmas tree.

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So, here’s a new thing. A week late for Shark Week, I’ve linked up with my nigh-on-identical brother from another mother, Timey to sort out a commentary for the ‘epic’ ‘movie’ ‘classic’ from SyFy known as SHARKNADO 2 – The Second One.

 

Sharknado 2

So, teaming up with my funky amigos, Neal, Nicole and Chris to talk over this messy wowshit, although we do go quiet whenever there’s a news report because NEWS IS IMPORTANT.  (more…)

Bip.

Bip boop bip.

Tikker tikker tikker tikker

SQUWAAAAARK

*uncomfortable silence*

TWANG.

Under The Skin.

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