Archive for the ‘oooooh’ Category

There are only a few times in my life when I feel utter dread. One is getting a phone call from the kids’ school in the middle of the day, another is the smoke alarm going off at 3 in the morning, but worse than all of these are when you see written on her Christmas wish list the following three words…

‘Bra and Pants’

Diagram One - Bras and Pants. On Ladies.

Diagram One – Bras and Pants. On Ladies.

Yeah, so I have an utter fear of lingerie shops, where everything is made of lace and silk, things come in some sort of arbitrary size system that makes little to no sense, where things come with accessories that look like something you see in German videos on the internet, and you live in fear of accidentally falling into a shelf and making all the pants and stuff fly everywhere.

Well, now those feelings of dread and terror have come to an end with BOUX AVENUE’S BUYING GUIDE FOR MEN TO LINGERIE. Which isn’t just an excuse to have photos of ladies in sexy pants to attract more male readers.

but, y'know... if it works...

but, y’know… if it works…

So, fellas, if you’re stuck with the Christmas mission of dressing your missus in something sexy and skimpy, have a look at that there guide, which has info about sizes, styles as well as links to all those faffy accessories and stuff that girls like to wear for you when they accidentally blew up the toaster and don’t want you to be mad at them. With this funky guide, you’re guaranteed to impress her, and won’t have to put up with her wearing those godawful cream granny pants to bed every other night.

I can't think of a caption for this. Nothing clean anyway.

I can’t think of a caption for this. Nothing clean anyway.

Also, if you get yourself across to www.bouxavenue.com before the 22nd December, you’ll still be able to get your presents delivered before Christmas, so there’s no need to get your knickers in a twist. Yeah, I went there.

So, you know me well enough to know I rarely eat anything healthy. If a food doesn’t have bacon in it then I tend to consign it to the back of the fridge, whenceforth it shall be expected to grow legs and attempt world domination using some sort of pseudo-science the likes of which would make Stan Lee say “That’s just bleedin’ ridiculous, by ‘eck.” (In my head, Stan Lee is from Barnsley)

crushed 1Crushed 2Crushed 3
Well, here I am eating actual fruit. And not that fruit that is fruit-shaped and that you need to use your teeth and that to eat, no this is a yummy fruit snack that’s been squished up and put in a pouch for you to eat with the minimum of effort. Yeah, it’s lazy food and it’s good for you, it’s a CRUSHED FAST FRUIT SNACK and it’s yummy like an angel French kissing you after eating a cake.

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Apologies about the lack of new posts for the past few days, I’ve been bonkers busy. Spent the whole of Saturday emptying out the understairs cupboard (the proto-mancave, if you will) and Sunday was spent doing one of those godless acts, the car boot sale. I made myself pinky swear to keep the blog up to date, so here comes a self-indulgent rant about my day.

But in the meantime, and in an effort to keep my blog looking pretty, here’s a photo of Gem with all my unwanted merchandise.

Gem at the car boot (more…)

So, before my Movie Night feature starts on it’s downward quality trajectory of Romero zombie films, after last time’s classic Dawn of the Dead, I thought I’d get a quickie post in about a new modern zombie classic, The Battery, released on DVD in the UK today (or yesterday, or 22nd July 2014, depending on when you read this).

The Battery
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Special.

Unique.

Different.

Wacky.

All those words you use to describe that ‘crazy’ guy at the office party who drinks Pernod and Blackcurrant and is the first to run to the dancefloor if anything from the mid-late 90s rave scene is played.

Well, meet that guy’s shirt…

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SHIRRRT

I give you gnat.co.uk‘s Dress Shirt (with the Classic Collar), a one-in-a-million shirt made from a completely random mixture of patterns, for the man that likes to look just that little bit different and special. (more…)

Well, it’s movie night again, and what better way to follow Night of the Living Dead than with a double bill of Mamma Mia and Dirty Dancing. No, obviously not. Get your groove on to The Gonk, it’s Dawn of the Dead, people!

Dawn of the Dead

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Hey everyone, festival goers and tap-ophobes, just thought I’d keep you up to date with Zerreau’s latest campaign funkiness following THIS BLOG POST, that I know you’ve already read.

Zerreau Towel Off Shampoo

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