Archive for the ‘rant’ Category

Apologies about the lack of new posts for the past few days, I’ve been bonkers busy. Spent the whole of Saturday emptying out the understairs cupboard (the proto-mancave, if you will) and Sunday was spent doing one of those godless acts, the car boot sale. I made myself pinky swear to keep the blog up to date, so here comes a self-indulgent rant about my day.

But in the meantime, and in an effort to keep my blog looking pretty, here’s a photo of Gem with all my unwanted merchandise.

Gem at the car boot (more…)

So… in a change to our regular Movie Night shenanigans, I’m gonna do a live chunter while watching (for the first time), found-footage Rosemary’s Baby-ish horror film Devil’s Due. Expect me to go off on one at some point, if the movie annoys or bores me or if I get distracted by something. I get distracted by stuff easily. Spoiler Alert. Probably.

Devil's Due

So… without futher ado… DEVIL’S DUE

0:00:00 – Movie Starts with police interview framing sequence. Meh.
0:08:47 – “Hey! Why don’t I write a live blog movie night post?”
0:08:48 – So…. it’s all camcordery. The main couple just got married, filmed all that, didn’t film the honeymoon night. Feel conned.
0:11:00 – Nothing much has happened yet. Nothing Devilly anyway. (more…)

Saw this poster this morning and it got me furious.


It’s for ‘The Musical Movie Event Of The Summer’, Walking On Sunshine and it is already the thing I hate most in all the world. (more…)

With the news that in the upcoming live Monty Python shows, John Cleese will be unable to do the Ministry of Funny Walks sketch due to his bad old-man knees, let’s have a ponder as to what else to expect from this poorly advised trip down nostalgia lane…




and I’m not even putting an ironic animated GIF underneath. because fuck that.

Two Seasons Later…

Posted: Dec 1, 2012 in Fudgecrumpet, Panini, rant

So, yeah, hello. Been a while, you’ve lost weight, changed your hair,  a smashing blouse, etc.

It was pointed out to me yesterday that I haven’t updated my blog for two seasons, having hit a Mojo-draining chasm following some damn good Olympic rambling. So, now I’m bored and guarding coats while the kids do their dance classes, and I might as well splurge some words before I get declared dead, in an internetting ranter type way.

So, the blog continues/plods along… I am writing this instead of getting a cup of overpriced manky coffee, made by the grumpy cafe lady here, which as well as showing my commitment to writing something, also means I have £3 to spend at the shops later (£5 if I had decided to have a croissant).

So, what have I been up to, besides not updating this here generally ignored piece of interweb? Well, I have been working, doing the old locksmith thing, fixing doors that have been destroyed by months of drenching in tramp urine. I’ve also been playing the Facebook game, Marvel Avengers Alliance, which despite being incredibly dull, is incredibly easy to play and only a tad less addictive than cigarettes laced with heroin and sellotaped onto free hardcore porn.

Apart from that, well nothing much. I’ve not been giving twitter the attention it deserves of late either, not sure if that’s because I’m bored with it or if I’m scared that i’ll end up making a joke that offends the wrong person and I end up in jail for a million years or paying a fine of over £35. Because I only have £35. And I probably won’t have that for long because it is nearly Christmas and the girls need so much money spent on absolutely nothing that I am spending most nights eating a Goblin Curry Pie with my eyes closed, pretending it is an extra value meal at McDonalds. Kids and spouses are expensive, if you’re out looking for one, I’d recommend you save your money and buy a reggae reggae chicken panini from Panini Shack instead. Sure, you won’t get the love and affection, but you’ll at least be able to play Lego in the nude on the kitchen floor whilst eating micro-noodles with a flip-flop.

So, that is 375 words. Should I write more? According to this Writer app on my phone you’ll have finished reading it within 90 seconds. Is that long enough to convince you that I’m back to being awesome. I could really do with getting a cup of coffee. Especially as the grumpy cafe woman has gone and been replaced with the one with freckles who always gives me too much change. Yeah, I reckon it might be coffee time.

Have fun, might see you soon.

Or in April.