Posts Tagged ‘iphone’

A month or so ago I received an awesome hot dog making robot from the Chinese people (in exchange for Amazon reviews or whatever). 

Here it is, look at it. LOOK AT IT.

It was amazing. Things were good. I had hot dogs whenever Gem would not nag about me having hot dogs. I was happy.

Last night, those halcyon days came to an end.

I watched Sausage Party. (more…)

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So, it seems that despite the curmudgeonly efforts of my generation, mobile phone games continue to be more than just Snake II, getting more advanced and fun with every passing day. The latest offering in the endless stream of games that my six-year old daughter, Megan will play at full volume next to my sleeping face at 5:30AM is Cooking Fever, a restaurant simulation game, that requires good time management and the ability not to get stressed.

So, who better to ask to review this game than Megan, on day release from her work down t’pit. (this is Yorkshire, after all)…

cookingfever (more…)

Remember a couple of weeks back when I reviewed the new version of Roald Dahl’s classic piece of anti-beard propaganda, The Twits? Of course you do.

Well, now there’s a game based on the book, available NOW for your iPhones and iPads, and all your fancy Android things, and I’ve dragged the kids out of their dungeon to help review it.

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Hi there. Let me just… oh, you just finish that first… done?

Right then, how about you-

oh. OK. Hey! Hey! Stop what you’re doing!

FFS, sit there, shut up, put your phone down. Good.

I know you’re busy, doing eight things at once, tweeting, facebooking, organising your Pokemon collection catalogue, pointing out that I’m only listing four things when I said eight. Well, I’m gonna save you some time, stop you being busy, and making that little purple vein on your head stop thumping like that time on Ren and Stimpy that I didn’t really watch because I didn’t really like Ren and Stimpy.

bullet

I’ve got here a new app called Bullet News. It lives on your phone, just like Candy Crush or that app you use to make fart noises when your missus sits down, and it gives you up to date news in a compressed super-futuristic fancy fashion (in a short list with dots on it) from all sorts of different places. (more…)

Heyyyyyyyyyy there ladies, how are you?

I know next to nothing about women. Well, I know what various bits do and how to make them cross, but otherwise I’m about as clueless as they come. So when I’m asked to write an article about women for women, about using technology to juggle careers and family life, well what do I do?

That’s right! I run off to twitter and ask for help.

I drew a picture of a snail because girls like snails.

I drew a picture of a snail because girls like snails.

Well I got a mixed response, because most of them refuse to take me seriously, and most of them wanted to mock my poor spelling of the word ‘sentence’. YES I KNOW HOW IT’S SPELT NOW.
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So, like every other numpty I’m playing this ruddy ridiculous game. Bunch of nonsense. More addictive than crack, less satisfying than Star Trek V.