Posts Tagged ‘kids’

HONK!

PARP!

GNNNRRRRK-PLURRRFFFFF!

Making noises is fun, and usually they just get me told off by Gem and all like “You’re in a doctor’s waiting room, you’re 38 years old, just shut up and do a Take A Break puzzle”, but once in a while some excuse comes along where I can let my inner Michael Winslow loose and I get to have a little noisy fun.

This is Soundiculous, a sound-based family party game (from the makers of Randomise) for 3-10 players aged 8+. It is great fun, and annoys the pants off of Gem to the extent that her pants refuse to come off in a much more literal sense, later in the evening.

Also, how can you not know who Michael Winslow is? You uncultured swine. He’s a flipping legend.

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Nits. Head Lice. School age children bring the bastards home to infect everyone. Itchy heads. Scratchy scratchy scratch. Hooray.

I’ve somehow managed to convince the lovely people at Hedrin that I’m an INFLUENTIAL LIFESTYLE AND PARENTING BLOGGER and they have sent me some head lice medicine to try out on my kids, in an attempt to bring an end to the endless battle that comes from having kids with hair.

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Yesterday was Darcey’s second birthday so we went on a lovely family trip to Sundown Adventureland, a theme park for the under 10s.

As I pretend to be a parenting blogger I thought I’d edit together all the photos and videos we made into some sort of fun, exciting video to make you want to visit the place too.

Unfortunately, this is me we’re talking about, and I got a bit carried away.

So, there’s that. Sorry.

Have a look at the Sundown Adventureland websiteif you want a more wholesome preview of their attractions.

Yay. Parent blogger.

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Buy Darcey a birthday ice cream!

Hi everyone, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything much here and I have no excuses other than laziness and a loss of creative mojo.

This picture is mostly unrelated to the contents of this post, but I can’t be bothered drawing up a different thumbnail. Also, this’ll have the women-of-a-certain-age clicking to see if I’m really wearing a tutu.

So, what have I been up to?

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They’re back at school now so hopefully they’ll stop being fucking locusts on all the food in my house. It’s been like 6 weeks since I’ve been able to find a packet of crisps.

Bloody creatures.

Here is them in front of a door. Probably using up all the wifi and leaving the lights on and that.

That’s your fucking parenting blog. Next week, breast feeding and sore nipples and e-numbers and other things. Not really, that’s all hateful shit.

Use a condom.

In which our brave hero watches a children’s TV show that tries its hardest to be as upsetting and unpleasant as possible… (more…)

As I tend to do occasionally I have passed on book reviewing duties to Jess, with Garth Nix’s Goldenhand – the fifth book in his Old Kingdom series.

Now, before we get started, neither Jess nor I have read any of Garth Nix’s stuff before, so if we offend any of you superfans by not knowing what the hell we are on about, I apologise in advance. (more…)