Posts Tagged ‘list’


I’ve been included in some sort of tweet thing by another blogger saying I have to write something on a particular topic. Let’s do that then. Woo. Excitement.

TL;DR I have to write about things that piss me off.



I have been contributing to another blog today, because I am helpful and not at all the self serving crazy internet hermit that you think I am.

Lookie here at OurRachBlogs in which I list a bunch of the best songs of 2005, of which there were none that deserve remembering.

I’m helping.


 I, Fudgey.

Posted: April 7, 2017 in Fudgecrumpet
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Some sort of profile containing facts and such…

  • Name – Al
  • AKA – Fudgecrumpet
  • AKA – Fudgey
  • AKA – Sir

No, YOU’VE been over generous with the pixels

  • Age – 37 (and a Quarter)
  • Eyes – Blue/Adorable
  • Hair – Brown/Occasionally floppy
  • Gender – Male
  • Preferred Pronoun – Sexy
  • Height – Shorter than you expected
  • Weight – Too much 
  • Shoe Size – UK10
  • Underpants Size – M-L
  • Distinguishing Features – Beard, 2 birth marks (lower back, neck)


Alphabetisation Attempt Alpha

Posted: March 16, 2017 in Fudgecrumpet
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So I have my list for my blogging A to Z. Yay me!

This photo is unrelated. I just wanted to show off my fancy glasses.

Some of these are very vague to allow me to be lazy, others are worryingly specific and might require me to put a lot of effort in.


8 Things That Exist…

Posted: November 5, 2016 in Fudgecrumpet
Tags: , , , , ,

Hello people of the interweb, welcome to yet another clickbait list of things, collected by as vague a theme as possible and populated by pictures stolen from Google Images.

Like and Share if you like this and want to share it.

1. The Corby Statesman Trouser Press.

This exists. (more…)

Hiya, it’s me again.

The Chinese people continue to send me random things to review on Amazon, as seeing as I’m just sat here watching a really boring sleeping baby doing sleeping and nothing interesting, I thought I’d share some more of the nonsense that keeps showing up at a pretty regular rate…

Ready? There’s quite a bit, so bear with me. Or don’t. I’m not massively bothered, you’re getting this for free. Well, unless you buy me a coffee, that would be a nice incentive to be actually entertaining. Look! Look at the monkey dancing from the caffeine rush that he is not able to metabolise correctly! See him fall down the stairs and split open his neck! Laugh! Laugh at the monkey! LAUGH!

Ahem. Sorry.

Twitter shares go on sale shortly, priced at $26 a share. Now of course we all know twitter is completely pointless (awesome, but pointless) but this got me thinking…

What can I get for $26 (or £16 if what google tells me is true) that is more pointless than twitter?
Turns out quite a bit…

1. This Whoopee Cushion Costume.


…because there are probably easier ways to get girls to sit on you, rather than pretending to be a farting novelty from back in the days when The Beano was funny.

2. Gary’s Adventures In Wonderland.
…yes, for the same price as a share in twitter, these guys will go and CTRL-V your name into countless works of classic literature. Because nothing says “I’m cool” more than actually being Dorothy as she goes on her witch killing rampage or being Peter Pan without ending up involved in Operation Yewtree.

3. Four copies of Jersey Shore Shark Attack.


…one copy for yourself, one for your mum, one to hand to a random stranger on the street and a spare in case you accidentally use the disc as a coaster of put it in one of those machines that fires clay pigeons. Which sometimes happens with such examples of high quality modern cinema.

4. A Spongebob Squarepants Onesie.
…for when you really, absolutely, definitely don’t want ladies to play with your penis.

5. A baked beans pan and spoon.
…because you can’t use a normal pan for beans or bob them in a bowl in the microwave for two minutes. No, you need a Heinz Baked Beans branded Saucepan and spoon. But woe betide anyone who attempts to use the pan to cook anything other than Heinz baked beans in it. It probably explodes or something. Well, I say probably. It probably won’t. In fact, I’m pretty sure it definitely won’t. Still, I’m not brave enough to experiment.

6. A cat Scratching DJ Deck.


…well, nuff said.
Feel free to make cat based dj name puns in the comments. Or keep it to yourself. Actually, yeah. To yourself.

7. Bunting.
…make your room into a recreation of a 1950s village fete with this handy bunting. Yes, you too could be the owner of a bunch of triangles on a string. Why I found this on site touting itself as a place to buy gifts is beyond me.
“Happy birthday nan, I bought you some bunting!”
“Fuck you Timothy and fuck your bunting. I tried to drown you at birth but the police stopped me.”

And so, yeah, that’s my fingers sore and my amazon search-based recommendations ruined for a good long while. Have fun spending your money on pointless stuff, and feel free to give your own suggestions and ideas in the comments below. But no cat dj puns. Glad we cleared that up.