Posts Tagged ‘rant’

Penguins.

Posted: July 2, 2018 in Fudgecrumpet
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I don’t like penguins, the birds or the chocolate biscuit

Don’t @ me.

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Hello. My name is Fudgey and I write misleading blog titles. It’s a hair dryer review! Do you see?

I’m sorry. I really am. No, come back.

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Hi.

Here’s some stuff I have been inflicting on my mind this week. Weird stuff. Check it out while I have a sit down.

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Hi

I always seem to start these blogposts with an apology for not writing something sooner, but it is becoming such a regular non-event that I am just gonna say you get blogposts when I bloody get round to it, stop nagging. Or nag more. Or pay me. Right? Good.

Anyway, I’ve been busy. What have I been doing? Sitting on my arse playing video games. That’s not busy, that’s the opposite of busy. That’s what people do to not be busy. I say shush.

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Hello boys, girls and Apache attack helicopters. So you’ve probably been all busy doing New Years things the past couple of days so you’ve probably not noticed my last two blog posts (that is the ONLY way to explain their pisspoor views stats). They’re both very good, you stand a chance of winning a (second hand (but awesome)) blu-ray, and you get a disproportionate amount of reminders about the existence of my Patreon, so that’s great. 

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Of all the mad scientists of the world, the most vindictive and spiteful are those who design baby clothes. If you’re a parent, I’m sure you’ll agree. They allow you between 3-6 months to get used to the ease of fastening a baby into an outfit with the ergonomic use of poppers but once you hit that 6 month point, the gloves come off and these evil geniuses work tirelessly to make undressing and dressing your wiggling poop/noise creature the most awkward and annoying task known to man.

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I am poorly and dying and possibly DOOMED.

I HAVE A RUNNY NOSE AND A HEADACHE AND I AM DYING.

Whaddya mean it’s just a cold? All the good diseases start off with flu-like symptoms. Ebola is one example.There are other examples that you should look up yourself if you are so bloody bothered. I’m too poorly.

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