Posts Tagged ‘review’

Remember that last post I wrote? I’m sure you do, you read it and shared it on all your social networks and posted a comment and everything. No?

Oh, well, the gist was that I suggested people send me shark movies and then people sent me shark movies. I put quite a bit of effort in, I made a little video and everything. No?

Fine.

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This is a story that begins with boobies.

We’re gonna need a bigger bra.

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My missus is a ruddy great history nerd. She has a secret folder on her laptop full of topless photos of Dan Snow and completely ruined the latest Robin Hood movie by pointing out that the commoners shouldn’t be wearing purple hoodies.

So, the opportunity to review a copy of Bernard Cornwell’s new book was an ideal way for me to get in her good books after swearing at her while building Lego at the weekend, and also a fantastic way to keep her quiet for a while so I can build Lego.

This review launches a blog tour of reviews and articles related to these books, because if you’re going to advertise your epic historical novel, why not start the ball rolling with a poorly maintained blog written by a guy who wouldn’t know history if it jumped out in front of him, waggling its tentacles or whatever.

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Applying for every single blogging assignment in the hope that someone will agree to send you free stuff to try out can lead to all manners of weird products getting sent your way. From card games to snowboarding lessons; croutons to unmentionables, it’s a crapshoot of, well, occasional crap.

This time around, I got the assignment to write about nicotine-free e-liquid. Y’know, for vaping. I don’t even vape or know what even is a vape so I asked the only person I know who does, my good pal Chris, to help me out.

Say hello to Chris. He replies “Hello.” You feel warm.

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This is an exciting review about a teeth whitening product. It really is. Exciting.

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HONK!

PARP!

GNNNRRRRK-PLURRRFFFFF!

Making noises is fun, and usually they just get me told off by Gem and all like “You’re in a doctor’s waiting room, you’re 38 years old, just shut up and do a Take A Break puzzle”, but once in a while some excuse comes along where I can let my inner Michael Winslow loose and I get to have a little noisy fun.

This is Soundiculous, a sound-based family party game (from the makers of Randomise) for 3-10 players aged 8+. It is great fun, and annoys the pants off of Gem to the extent that her pants refuse to come off in a much more literal sense, later in the evening.

Also, how can you not know who Michael Winslow is? You uncultured swine. He’s a flipping legend.

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I went to a Transformers convention at the weekend, because I am cool and sexy.

I had waffles.

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