Posts Tagged ‘writing’

Fudgey’s A to Z…

Posted: March 15, 2017 in Fudgecrumpet
Tags: , , , ,

So in a half-arsed attempt to encourage myself to write more blog content (and to artificially inflate my viewing stats, shhh) I’m going to do a blog a day, with the tenuous link of it being some sort of A to Z.

I’ll leave it up to you lot to decide what I should write about first, other than it needs to start with an A.

If only there were some sort of book listing all the words in alphabetical order…

So I know I’ve not mentioned it on here in a while, but if you follow me on twitter I still get almost daily packages from ‘the Chinese people’, Amazon sellers with poor grammar skills who want me to write reviews for them on the various Amazon sites in exchange for free or heavily discounted products.

As often as packages of random tat, I get tweets asking “How do you get all this free stuff?” and while I have mentioned how to do it before, I figured another blog post would make it look like I’m actually producing internet content rather than stagnating and sending people to old shit.

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Before I do that, I figured I’d make you exercise your scrolling fingers a bit.

Here’s a very small selection of some of the more recent random tat…

Fancy spy stuff…

A 3D Pen… (imagine trying to draw with a glue gun)

Some kind of mad tin opener…

Some sort of daft bra…

Heterosexuality enhancement devices…

A piano.

Half a dozen pairs of VR goggles…

Bibs for mucky pups…

Not a fucking clue…

Kitchen scales!

A terrifying tooth whitening kit…

Knickers!

Right, if you wanna get involved with what I find hard to tell myself isn’t some sort of scam, get yourself signed up with review.directory, leave your amazon profile details (here’s mine) and get ready for an influx of poorly google translated review requests from people with suspiciously English names.

They usually request about 300 words in your product review, and a few insist on photos or the occasional video, but you don’t need to be as much of a magicial wordsmith like what i is. Just say nice things, end it with a lie about being honest and unbiased and Bob’s your Dad’s best mate who you call your uncle even though he really isn’t. As a computer generated insurance flogging oligarch meerkat would say “Simples.”

One thing I would recommend is being a member of Amazon Prime. Yes, it is a bit of a pricey lump, but you get free next day postage in most cases, as well as getting to watch Preacher on Amazon Video.

So, yeah, that’s me being useful and helping you get free awesome stuff, so why not buy me a coffee to show your appreciation.

See you later then.

Hello everyone. Here’s a bit of a contest for you.

I want to read your Erotic Stories. No particular reason, I just think it’d be fun.

UPDATE – Watch the erotic stories and vote for your favourite now HERE!

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Right then, blatant advert time.

Check out this here LINK for my good pal Bronwen Winter Phoenix’s new short story, Zombie Thatcher. The first part in what could possibly be an ongoing series of horror comedy adventures of everyone’s favourite undead ex-prime minister.

It’s only like £1.50ish on kindle so you should be able to afford it if you don’t buy any malteasers for a day.

Why am I being so generous and lovely to some random person? What happened to selfish old Fudgey, looking out for himself like some kind of sexy internet leech? Oh he’s still here, turns out I designed the cover for this here thing. A funky bit of lazy phone-based photo editing and that, but I’m pretty sure that makes the effort and expense of visiting amazon worthwhile.

So, please go and have a look, buy the thing, and then write a five star review making extra efforts to compliment the cover and how wonderful I am.

Thanks.

Heres the link again, which I would really appreciate you copying and pasting and sharing on whatever websites and forums you use…
http://tinyurl.com/zombiethatcher

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